NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
presents

PIZZA EXPERIENCE
by Chris Beyond, Ernie Mejia, Arely Mireles (Ernie Treats!)



This was written at a secret Pizza Location! You will experience the same sights and sounds as our adventurers did on February 29th, 1996

We walk across the street from school to the Pizza Place. We arrive and order our three pizzas. We sit down in the patio that the pizza place so conveniently had waiting for our arrival.

Arely - I was enlightened by the BEATLES song that was coincidentally playing when we arrived. "Here Comes The Sun."

NOTE: - The world revolves around Arely.

Arely sez the crust is too thin. She likes her crust thick and big "with lotz of cheese, baby!" Chris likes the pepper. Arely sez they should label their jars. This is because Ernie ended up dumping lots of garlic on his pizza slice without knowing what he had put on. Arely burps. We listed to E-Z music. "Pizza is lke sex!" sez Arely. "Even if it is bad, it is good." Ernie is glad to be eating. He licks his plate and winks at Chris. Arely spits and then Ernie laughs at Chris, who has food on the corner of his mouth. We spy a handy machine where you can buy M&M's and put them on your pizza. Arely states that you know that the pizza is good when you have to re-apply lipstick.

We notice a similarity between the person who serves the pizza and the robots in Disneyland's Pirates Of The Carribean. The motiff reeks of Greek influentialism; Italian/Greek and godlike lunchtables.

FLASH: - There should be a place where they have all kinds of different pizzas, because buying one pizza is a really big commitment. Like a pizza salad bar.

Ernie: Would you eat here again?
Arely: It's close to school and it's not expensive.
(Of course. Ernie bought the food.)
Chris: Oh god, I burnt myself on this zipper!
Ernie: What do you think of this shithole?
Chris: You know if it drips, it is better than McDonalds.
Ernie: I'm still hungry.

Arely notes that the bathroom key is connected to Nun-Chucks. We figure this is due to much needed extra bathroom protection. We are satisfied and go our separate ways.

- THE END