NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
presents
"Scientists and Governments can create a Better Nature!"
Welcome to our scary October issue..."The Nature Issue"! The NEW nature can be really scary. We can now splice animal and vegitable genes together to make a "better" nature for our future's children; who will also be made better with selective genetic improvements using all of the genes that nature provided for all of Shiva's creatures. It will truely be a brighter and warmer future with all of the "improvements we're making on the environment and everything else. BAH-LaaaAAAAaaa-Do-Do-reh-he-maaaaaAAAahhh! Before I say anything else, I gotta give extra special thanks to Nora Keyes who painted the cover of this issue. The full painting is pictured here for all your viewing pleasure (unless you're blind...er...sorry,...if you're blind, that is).
Here we are on the eve of an "election" in California. You know about this, right? A Republican, whose name I'm not going to even bother adding to yet another google search, decided that since voters here didn't vote for a Repblican last year, he should pay people to hang out on street corners and in front of stores to get you to sign bills that you never really think'll happen anyway. So this Republican was hoping to become governer anyway since he felt that would be the best way to cover up the energy scandal started by Pete Wilson (Who is Arnold's right hand man by the way...don't believe me? Look it up), but ended up dropping out due to extreme unpopularity, paving the way for Arnold...who basically told Arianna Huffington that he would like to see her killed in one of his movies during their recent debate. Not that the democrats are any better...most of them are in it for themselves in one way or another. This leaves the independents (of sorts). The other Arnold in the race is Gary Coleman who has gone on record as saying that he does not like to give oral sex to women who would potentially have sex with him. Since that is all I know of him other than his acting career and THIS, my guess is that not having oral sex is his platform and that is to pathetic for me to give him my vote. Of course there is Arianna, who I've sorta' worked with a log time ago. She is looking for a cleaner environment, less corporate dealings in government, and all that other nice stuff, but is she really doing it for us or to stay in the public eye? Well, she's dropped out already so there goes that. Oh, yeah there is L.A.'a famous Angelyne and that porn star. Angeline certainly wins over the porn star (who may actually be a citizen of Florida) in the fake boob department. They've both got big ol' fake boobs, but Angelyne's are clearly bigger and faker and that clearly makes her the frontrunner. Personally I'd vote for the pornstar between the two as she'd be more open for anything that comes by or passes through her.
If you really want my opinion (and I don't see why you would), I say vote against the recall. Gray Davis is cold and boring, but that's what we voted for and all California's problems were set in place long before he got there. I don't think it's cool to try to get him kicked out just because you don't like the party he's in or if you come from an upper class that doesn't want to pay their share of taxes. It's just important for you to vote...if you have a brain that is. We all blame Florida for this Bush problem, but in all honesty we wouldn't have this problem if a bunch of idiots who just wanted lower taxes and a 300 dollar rebate (Wow, that really worked out for us, didn't it?) didn't vote for the guy all over the country. He preyed on people's greed, poverty, and lack of education (which he and his father have a part in) to get where is is today. That's a lot of hard work reaching all those people. It takes so many tax, NRA, and oil company dollars.
So that's my take on things right now...sorta. It's so hard to stay non-political when it looks like the country have been taken over by a lot of evil people. At least the people who write for and appear in this silly 'lil publication aren't so evil...except Jeff Roe, but he uses it for good, mostly.
Yr. No-Fi "Pal",
Chris Beyond
(Chris Beyond is the editor of No-Fi "Magazine" and should wear a helmet.)
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