Hello, and welcome to the very late third installment of our "Ask Jeff Roe" section of Mo-Fi "Magazine". Questions have died down in its absence so if you have a question ranging from anything like who was in your car last night to why you pee upwards when you wake up in the morning. We present now the best, most compelling letters (that we are legally allowed to publish) No-Fi "Magazine", it's publishers, owners, editors, writers [including Jeff Roe] and pets take no responsibility for opinions stated in this feature). Anyway, once again, here is "Jeff Roe's World of Whimsical Wonder". Feel free to mail Jeff with your questions concerning love, sex, dating, and where to find your feet.
• From Chris Beyond
Hey Jeff. People keep e-mailing me every day thinking I am Eric Fensler who did the G.I. Joe videos because they can't figure out that the e-mail 
button at the bottom of my interview with him goes to me and not him. Can you answer this guy's question?
• From Justin Cabahug
Out of curiosity where did you find the reggae song in one of your GI Joe video, or did you make it up
Dear Justin,
People don't know this about me, but I'm a longtime reggae fan. When I couldn't get the rights to The Skatalites that I wanted to use, a guy named Jeff Watson wrote it for me. He used to be in the band Night Ranger.
• From Jeff Parker:
I've been seeing this girl for about ten months now. For the first month of our relationship she had another man. Her friend told me about it but she denied it. Then a few months later she went out to the movies with a guy from work. Her mom told her it was a good idea and pretty much forced her into it. Her mom 
has a big affect on her. About a month after that I found out that she actually did cheat on me with the guy at the begining of our relationship. Until about the fifth month of our relationship she had guys she talked to online and stuff and lied to me about it. She has changed a little, she treats me a little better than she did at first. Is once a cheater always a cheater really true?
thanks,
Jeff Parker
Dear Jeff,
I would say that in this case, since she's cheated on you for half of your relationship (that you know about),the "once a cheater, always a cheater" rule applies. If that's enough to give up having sex with her (which is why I'm betting that you've stuck with her), then do with that what you will.
P.S.
What's her name? Is she cute? Can you forward her phone number to me? Just for professional purposes, of course. I'd like to hear her side of the story. Maybe she thinks you smell bad or something.
• From Duanne Bradley:
....hey.....i got your site address from the most beautifull, and interesting human female in the known universe....the haunting claire donner (your last issue's cover girl )....perhaps you can help me with a problem i'm having with my brother....see, there's this girl i like.....but in the past my brother has always felt this cumpulsiv need to butt-in, and ruin everything!!!....i love my brother, 
but i'd like to get to know this girl.....how do you feel i should approch this problem?.....thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.....i do enjoy your advice page.....duane bradley
Dear Duanne,
Well, barring the obvious solution of shoving your brother into a deep dark well, you may want to talk to him. He is your brother and all. How exactly does your brother "interfere?" Does he tell girls you like embarrassing stories from your past? Does he hit on them when you're away? Does he stalk them and kill them in their sleep? Maybe if you just sit down and explain to him rationally and calmly your "personal issues" with him, he'll understand and back off. Or he'll let out a loud guffaw and close his eyes while throwing his head back in laughter and pushing you out a window. That's when you hit him with the two-by-four with a rusty nail in it that you keep handy for just such an occassion. Or am I the only one?
Any more questions? Bring it on. Jeff's ready for you. WRITE HIM and ask away! Do you have problems with the opposite sex? The same sex? Your own sex? Lack of sex? Too much? Roommate troubles? Health concerns? Ask Mr. Roe and if he doesn't know the answer, he'll at least make something up that sounds halfway good (or not).
