I've decided that I now have an arch-enemy in life. Who the hell is this human wart stain called "Clay Aikens" with that stupid song called "Invisible"? What kind of watered down
retarded skid mark in life is this crap? Seriously, have you heard this song or seen the video? EVERYTHING in the video makes me want to hunt this "person" down with a spear and sell his skin to Canadian seal hunters to make a fine nap sack out of...and, trust me, I hate seal hunters so that's how horrible I think this Clay guy is. The video was shot on Hollywood blvd some 20 minutes away from where I am writing this right in front of the El Capitan Theatre...which happens to be owned by Disney and only plays Disney films. He smiles and paces around the stage while singing to paid extras. What is he singing about? Well about how invisible he is and how nobody likes him. I really really really really really really wish he were truely invisible. Imagine all the cars crossing the street that wouldn't be able to stop because they couldn't see him. Then he would have to shove his watered down commercial music up my ears unexpectedly. I did watch the entire video though. It was marvelous in its evil purity. He sings to thin girls, fat girls, girls with Dom DeLouise hats (which always make people look bigger than they really are) and, from what the editing is trying to tell us, homeless hollywood punks. The thing is nobody's face is blurred so that means each person "just randomly" walking by had to sign a release to be in this "video". Graaaaauugh! I need a break...Ok, few days later. This issue is running late (as usual). I've since found out from Quin that this Clay fella was a runner-up on Americam Idol. Oh, I totally take back everything I said about him in the paragraph above and now repeat it all again (in my head) only with more four letter words. America wants BLAND and not real
bands. I could never bring myself to watch American Idol. I saw an early episode last year featuring that English guy making fun of people who don't sing like everyone else does on TV. He's also responsible for this show and it coming to America. I'd rather hear my friend Jenny sing off-key in her actually beautiful way than watch people add a thousand new notes to "Amazing Grace." It's a crime, my friends... Oh... "Crime"...Yeah, It's the "Totally True Crime Issue"... Spread over two months. We got interviews with Mark from The Red House Painters interviewed by Mary Bond. We got my backstage interview with the The Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players. We got Menso, Reviews, No-Fi "Radio" and all the rest (not including The Professor & Mary-Anne). Why is this a two month issue? Well, it looks like we may be moving...
I don't want to get into it too much, but as of now (early December) it looks like the no-fi "office" is moving. Nothing is 100% as of this writing, but it's certainly in the 80% range. I'll still be local, but about 10 minutes away from where I am now. I'll let you know for sure in January. So anyway, I'll be using much of this month to pack stuff for moving AND moving. I'm also doing a rush freelance project (involving doing DVD, Soundtrack CD, and LP covers for one of my favorite independent directors). What a busy month!
Anyway this issue's theme is inspired by
crime magazines of the 1950s and 1960s. I've never been too interested in the "lurid" content, but the covers always caught my eye seeing them in old thrift shops or swap meets. Usually the involved photos or paintings on the cover of some beautiful girl about to meet her end by some large scary guy with a big knife or a rope or an old gun. In our cover's case (at least the first one), the girl in trouble is my friend Verity Smith and the big scary guy (bunny) is...ME! (Laurie Wilson took the photo). Anyway, I DO hope to have a few true "innocent" crime stories by the end of the issue so there you go...a theme that actually works itself into an issue of No-Fi. How rare.Yr. No-Fi "Pal",
Chris Beyond
