NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
"Que Es Esto? Es Lapiz."

So this intro is late and in fact the whole last week as of this writing, I wasn't even able to do any updates at all on the site due to something cool I've been working on for most of this year that is FINALLY being released...

So Santa came to me at the last moment and whispered in my ear that the design for the BROAD DAYLIGHT DVD I've worked on over the year was due...tomorrow. That was a little over a week agao and due to a lack of communication, I didn't have all of the materials to finish it in eight hors, but with a little faith, trust, and luck (in the form of photos, text, and feedback) I WAS able to finish the project in a week...which is pretty darn tootin' good considering how it came out.

So excuse me while I turn this section into an ad for a moment, but I worked really hard on this project and I am a big fan of the directors, JMM (director of TEENAGE TUPELO, SUPERSTARLET A.D., and THE SORE LOSERS) and Victoria Renard (SHINE ON SWEET STARLET) and am very happy to have contributed to this project. They and I made this DOUBLE-Dvd a project for fans of the modern burlesque scene and dvd fans alike. As I said,this is a double DVD and not only do you get the film BROAD DAYLIGHT, but aso SHINE ON SWEET STARLET;...both films are modern burlesque loop collections


Watch modern burlesque performers put their own twist on the scene in this collection of burlesque loops. See modern starlets dance to a punk rock / garage soundtrack that is EASILY the best soundtrack of the year! And, if you know my love for music from No-Fi "Magazine", you know that this is no joke.

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS! as an added BONUS - Order your copy of BROAD DAYLIGHT starring The Fishnet Floozys (featuring current No-Fi "Coverstar" Anna Bells), Miss Exotic World Kitten Deville, October No-Fi "Coverstar" Kitty Diggens, current Miss Exotic World Dirti Martini, and many many many many (seriously MANY) more now thru Dec. 31st, and receive a FREE complimentary Poubelle Twins calendar, courtesy of Sympathy for the Record Industry! What better gift could you find to to fill those discarded silk stocking by the fireplace this Holiday Season?

Ok, well that's it for the commercial part of this issue. man do I feel like a tool for plugging like crazy there, but better to get it out of the way now before things get nutty later on. I gotta get cracking on the rest of the issue. Seriously I lost a week due to finalizing the DVD and there is a LOT to do between now and the end of the month.

So let's talk about the theme of this month's issue. In the last few years I've discovered and become a fan of the famous Mexican Wrestler known as El Santo. I hate wrestling, but the El Santo movies were different in that El Santo actually fought against vampires, werewolves, mummies, and zombies...and THEN after that he'd eventually find time to wrestle. The man who played l Santo really never went out in public without his mask and it wasn't until days before his death did he ever take it off in public. Don't believe me? Look it up.

So in tribute I bring you:
"EL SANTA CONTRA
LA FLOOZY DEL NAVIDAD!"

El Santa has grown bored and mad in his isolated fortress on the moon. Tired of his life of making and distributing toys for children, he decides to return to Earth to bring havok and destruction to all those naughty and nice. Once there, he enlists help from The Vampire Woman (tricked into his service) and the mysterious El Pistolero (who harbors a dark secret). The only person to catch on to his mindless plan early on is the world famous Christmas Floozy who has made a name for herself on the holiday burlesque circuit. Warned by one of El Santa's runaway elves, she goes on a search for El Santa that leads her to battles against El Pistolero (who is revealed to be a woman) and The Vampire Woman who ultimately joins her in her quest (only to be double crossed by her former employer).

Eventually the Christmas Floozy calls on her friend El Mascaras Apathetica and with his help tracks El Santa to his secret hideaway in the cave of death! A glorious battle ensues with the fate of X-Mas on the line. Will El Santa destroy the Christmas Floozy and perhaps even the Earth itself while he's at it? Will the Christmas Floozy vanquish El Santa and take over Christmas for the good of the people? Can she save her boyfriend from the clutches of the evil flowing through his veins? And just where does El Santa get his powers and where did he come from?!? The answers to each of these questions just might be found in this issue of No-Fi "Magazine" if you look hard enough.

Oh, and before I forget...the cast on this cover is:

Anna Belles - La Floozy del Navidad
Emmy Collins - El Santa
Kitty Diggins - The Vampire Woman
Miss Satanica - Herself
Riley Swift - Riley Logan
Laurie Wilson - La Ayudante Pequena De El Santa
Scottie Diablo - El Apathetica Mascaras
Gael - Ben
Jessica Ate' - El Pistolero


(click each thumbnail to see a bigger version)

So enjoy the rest of the issue, dear reader and don't forget to listen to No-Fi "Radio" while you're at it!

Yr. No-Fi Holiday Pal,
Chris Beyond

(Chris Beyond is the creator of No-Fi "Magazine" and can do the watusi.)


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