NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
"STAFF MEMBERS & GUESTS"
Chris Beyond
No-Fi "Magazine" Editor & Creator; Interviews, Articles, Reviews, Illutrations, Photography / No-Fi "Radio" Creator & DJ
E-Mail: nofimag@hotmail.com
FRIENDSTER Profile, MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
www.rpgmp3.com - at this site you can listen to a bunch of british guys and gals play dungeons and dragons. You thought thought it was fun watching people play, wait'll you LISTEN to them play!
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
The verison of "Do They Know It's Christmas Time" I produced for the second "Happy No-Fi X-Mas" CD. It was fun recording each of my friends singing their line one person at a time. No, Quin isn't in that recording. We weren't friends back then. Oooo burn! Just kidding Quin.
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
I would be the maskless masked wrestler and would be known for shouting out "Where the masks?!? Where the masks?!?"
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
Best...It might be a three way tie between asking only for Castle Grayskull (and that's ALL I got cuz it was expensive), a rad At-At toy I got one year, and the CASIO SK-1 keyboard that let you record and play samples. Worst...I hate to say it, but my first Christmas with a couple of friends who got me these 99 Cent store plastic Dinosaurs. Whew, that was rough. But they've more than "made up for it" since then.
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
For Mary, Pixie, & Amy, to stop hittng on me. C'mon ladies...keep it in your pants... You too Jeff.
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: I've done so much within a relatively short period of time that it almost seems like I'm making it all up. So I've finally put up the new No-Fi "History" area to show off my work and maybe just to show that "I was there." The cool thing is that I'll basically add to it a little bit each month and maybe even update areas that are already there. Basically it'll be a No-Fi "Museum" that we'll curate with new artifacts every month.

Quin
No-Fi "Radio" Program Director, DJ / Staffwriter; Interviews, Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: nofiradio@nofimagazine.com
FRIENDSTER Profile, MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: CA, USA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: http://www.daviddixon.com
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
Anything by Burl Ives.
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
Half skunk. Half fish.
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
The best gift is always money or music. i can't even think of any bad gifts.
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
For a new president of course, or a one way ticket to anywhere else in the world.
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: Chris Beyond on Quin: Quin didn't ask everyone for a short bio so I'll add my two cents on some of the people here. For example, Quin has been a writer for No-Fi since the debut of the first issue in early 1996. Now he's the program director for No-Fi "Radio" and has made many cool contacts in the music industry and has yet to "take advantage" of any of them. I think he should try to get a job on "real" radio, but something seems to scare him about the thought of that. Quin has a cool laugh and says "ummm" way less that I do on the radio show.

Ernesto A. Mejia
Staffwriter, Illustrator
E-Mail: itsmenso@hotmail.com
LOCATION: Portland, Oregon U.S.A.
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: I'd rather be outside playing
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
"C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S" By THE VANDALS
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
El Pulpo, of couse!
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
I can't say that i've ever got a real good Christmas present. I grew up with three brothers, so we all recieved the same thing every year: thermal underwear and a flannel. Commercial Christmas can suck it. Money is nice.I did recieve a license plate with a big American flag on it two years ago. I'm still not sure if it's the best or worst present to date. My brother gave me a used Scorpions CD one year...
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
That I wouldn't have to deal with Thanksgaving, or Christmas, or New Years, and that maybe one year my friends and family would have enough energy left to celebrate my birthday on JANUARY THIRD. PROPERLY, NOT JUST WITH A CAKE AND SEX.
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF:I like cake and sex, I drive a stick shift car(truck) because they're funner, and I enjoy taking really long showers like a girl.
Mary Bond
Staffwriter; Interviews, Reviews, Articles, Photography, & More!
E-Mail: marybond@nofimagazine.com
Website: Angel Wished Designs
FRIENDSTER Profile
LOCATION: Los Angeles, California, USA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: Bust.com
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
Anything from "The Nightmare Before Christmas"
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
A Koala
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
Best: anything given with sentimental value. Worst: Gifts that do not appear like the person gave them any thought
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
To quote THE SMITHS, I wish for: "Love, peace and harmony."
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: Chris Beyond on Mary: Mary has been with us since shortly after we turned No-Fi into an all online "Magazine". She runs her own business, takes an insane amount of classes, and on top of that is an actress. She's also very frisky when drinking so watch out! I haven't seen very much of her this year so hopefully that'll change next year.
Ryan Lies
Staffwriter; Interviews, Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: zombieryan@hotmail.com
Website: Familiar Studios
MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: Grand Rapids, Michigan
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
Answer Tktktk
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF:tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk




Jeff Roe
No-Fi "Magazine" Advice Columnist / No-Fi "Radio" Sound Assistant
E-Mail: askjeffroe@hotmail.com
FRIENDSTER Profile
LOCATION: Silverlake, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
Answer tktktk
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF:tktktk. tktktktktktk. tktk




Anna Bells
Cover Model / Burlesque performer / producer
E-Mail: Tktktk
PERSONAL WEBSITE
LOCATION: Silverlake, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: http://www.gstringsforever.com the best sit on burlesque ever run by the fabulous Jo Boobs!
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
"Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" by THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
I would have to be my character on the cover, La Floozy Del Navidad! I love it!
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
The best gift I got early this year, Scottie Diablo. I'm a lucky girl. The worst was a cat candle holder with a candle hole in the tail.
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
Peace in Iraq and for everyone to come to my holiday burlesque show "Tease the Season Too!" (which took place at The Derby in Los Angeles and was a success! ~ Ed.)
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: Anna Bells is a burlesque performer from Hollywood, California. She's best known for her sizzling solo performances and as one half of the dazzling duo The Fishnet Floozys. Her credits range from stage to film including Tease-O-Rama, Playboy Radio, The Discovery Channel, CBS News and the Guerrilla Monster film BROAD DAYLIGHT. When not on stage, she spends her time getting into mischief with Scottie Diablo and a small chihuahua named Bennie.

Emmy Collins
Cover Model / Director / Producer / Actor / Writer / Musician
E-Mail: Tktktk
IMDB Profile
LOCATION: California
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: guerrillamonster.com (check out the kool FLAKES video), psychotronicvideo.com (one of my fave mags for over a decade), and goner-records.com (the goner board always makes me hungry for Memphis)
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
'I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus' (unreleased) by THE GERBILS That one by THE POGUES with the 'Merry Christmas yer arse' lyric and BARBARA STRIESAND's hyper version of 'Jingle Bells'.
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
Well, you creatures at NO-FI just deemed me "El Santa" on your new cover - my next choice would be URSALINA from LUCHA VA VOOM.
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
Best = (tie) canned boiled peanuts/a Grundig wind-up shortwave radio with flashlight (crank it for ninety seconds for up to twenty minutes of radio rockin'!)/goose down filled slippers. Worst = hard rock cafe t-shirt circa 1987
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
a date with Victoria Brough (actress from THE EGOIST and ELVIS MEETS THE BEATLES) where we sip cherry malts (with extra malt) and eat green chile stew at the Frontier Diner in Albuquerque, New Mexico - that would be bliss.
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: Chris Beyond on Emmy: In the year or so I've known Emmy, he's come to be one of my favorite people. He is very talented, funny, and just a nice guy in general. He's also a very busy person in the film industry as beside he fact that her is finishing his latest short film THE EGOIST which he directed and stars in, he is also a producer for the Burlesque film BROAD DAYLIGHT that I have done the cover and booklet design for, and has starred in films you've probably seen like John water's PECKER, ROCK STAR, THE PEOPLE VS LARRY FLINT, THE SORE LOSERS, and even played Greg Allman of THE ALLMAN BROTHERS in the MEATLOAF bio film. It's getting to the point where you watch a movie or see some bus stop ad and say "Hey, who's that hippy guy? Oh, it's just Emmy again."
Linda Castagnola
Artist; "Plastic Porn"
E-Mail: Coffinbrat77@msn.com
MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: my favorite website is always www.ebay dot com because I collect music and crap and Iam a total clothes whore and you can find some treasures there (vintage,new and reconstructed), I check it often for things I've been constantly looking for.
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
"Last Christmas? by WHAM (not the new cover that is out) and although they are one of my fave bands I can not stand the COCTEAU TWINS Version of "Frosty the Snowman" (and can't believe they made that to this day.
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
I'd be "Double-D" my secret crusher movie would be like to crush or suffercate my rival with my big boobies.
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
Best.... I like it when people get me exactly what I want cause I have so much shit I am hard to shop for, but I love homemade stuff from friends alot and last year my best friend Jaysin that I make the Plastic Porn with went to a estate sale and got me all this corinated 80's costume jewlery with vintage handbags and a lame powder case that perfectly holds Mac Studio Fix. Basically any gift that shows the person really thought about me. Worst.. year in JR High I begged my mom for a womens cut leather motorcycle jacket and instead got the nastiest ugliest metalhead chic looking cowboy boots that even had frienge and metal toe tips, ewww. Worst part she bought herself a leather jacket for X-Mas that year and would not allow the boots to be retuned and forced me to wear them out once. I returned all my other gifts and went and bought the jacket
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
Either enuff money to hire a hitman to kill me or mental health and true love, oh yeah and that world peace thing of course.
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: I was born in and have mostly lived in San Diego,CA with the exception of a brief tme in SF for school (I so miss it and would love to go back after school) and a short stay in Portland (never move for a guy). I am 27 and go to school for fashion design and have much intrest in the arts. I have been singing and dancing since I was a child. This includes classical voice trainning (I either wanted to sing opera at one point when I was younger). Also a lot of musical teather, plays and many forms of dance. I currently bellydance semi-professionally and also do hip-hop dance (people tend to tripout on that one). I collect tons of crap including but not limited to shoes (about 140 pairs), vintage hats and lingerie, 80's costume jewelery and collectable crap like Nighmare Before X-Mas stuff and records. I love doing creative stuff and have won awards for singing and choreography. I love making gehtto fashion photography and have done some pin-up modeling also. I am way into collecting music/records and live for live shows, dressing up, hangingout with my "homo homies" and making arts and crafts. When I group up I wanna be a fashion stylist and designer.

Jaysin Thwing
Artist; "Plastic Porn"
E-Mail: E-Mail Tk
MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: www.ebay.com yeah it's the xmas season and i'm cheap
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
To be honest if i hear any xmas music i'll probably go crazy....not a big fan of xmas
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
a hot pink devil with black rhinestone horns and black rhinestone tail
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED: Best.....hmmmmm probably a hoodie my 2 ex best friends gave me a couple years back. Worst....socks that i get every year from a derranged relative
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
money....lots of money.
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: Nothing really to tell....i'm just a down to earth person....nothing really special about me.

Pamela "Pixie" Lay
Writer; Articles
E-Mail: pixielay@nofimagazine.com
MYSPACE PROFILE
LOCATION: Canada
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: http://www.playapixie.org
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
"Grandma got run over by a reindeer!" Great tune!
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
PixieKLOWN and I would tickle and spank my opponents inot submission.
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
The best gift I ever received was the girft of life. The worst gift I ever received was a stupid ceramic bunny talking on a phone. Itæ was ugly,...very ugly and said nothing about me. Wait- maybe I am ugly......maybe I am cold, and hard and talk on the phone too much!
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
I wish that I could do one nice thing for all of my friends.
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: Chris Beyond on Pixie: Pixie lives in Canada which means she didn't have to deal with all the crap that the rest of us in the USA and "Jesusland" have had to deal with. In fact in her country gay couples can now legally marry each other...and in the U.S., being gay is compared to beastiality. I hope that Pixie plans on getting a big place, cuz the rest of us just might be moving in if "W" declares himself king.
Mike Walton
Writer/Artist; Articles/Reviews
E-Mail: mike@quasilucid.com
PERSONAL WEBSITE
LOCATION: The Bible Belt
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: http://www.landoverbaptist.org and http://www.sodaplay.com/zoo
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
"Here We Come A-Wassailing"
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
El Matador Gigante
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
Sex
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
After one of Dubbyahs most recent tumbles down the west wings north stairwell, the nation holds its collective breath while our wacky leader undergoes corrective cosmetic brain surgery The surgery turns out to be astounding success! With all synapses firing at a newly achieved sixth-grade capacity, over the course of the next several months, Dubbyahs administration ends the war in Iraq, federalizes healthcare, ends our dependency on oil, revamps the education system, saves the rain-forests, wins the WWE Smack-Down Summer Slam Championship, and tops Billboards pop chart with his dance hit single, Scrotal Debris.

or you could just put:

Peace on earth, good will toward men and all that crap.
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: Chris Beyond on Mike: Holy crap, Mike is back?!? Mike has written some of my favorite articles in No-Fi "Magazine" and I often get e-mails from people talking about them. He was a big presence here with his articles and animations until he moved "down south" and we lost touch for a while. Right now Mike is developing shows/pilots for a cable network and you may even have seen his animation in the JACKASS movie (via the animated chicken at the very begining of the film). He's one of the nicest guys you could meet and perhaps someday you will. Until then, enjoy his NEW writing in our virtual pages.
Amy Voorhees
Writer/Artist; Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: amyofdarkness@hotmail.com
LOCATION: Silverlake, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT: http://www.memepool.com
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OR SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS:
WALL OF VOODOO's "Shouldn't Have Given Him a Gun For Christmas"
IF YOU WERE A LUCHA WRESTLER, WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE?:
La Murcielaga!
BEST AND WORST GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED:
My new laptop from my parents and religious pamphlets from my bornagain grandmother (Respectively. - Obviously.)
YOUR WISH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
That we evolve into fishpeople and live lives of ease beneath the waves (See how I made this not about George Bush! HA!).
SHORT BIO ABOUT YOURSELF: Chris Beyond on Amy:Amy is very shy about describing herself, but she has lived in L.A. for a year after moving here from New Jersey. Within that time she quickly rose up the ranks at a pretty famous independent film company. She also went shopping for "nude" thongs with Chris Beyond for one of the movies her company is producing. Chris is hoping that this will lead to him being credited as "Thong Wrangler" which has been his lifelong dream ever since he saw the film Tarzan The Apeman starring Bo Derek.

Send Tapes, CDs, or Demos to:
No-Fi "Magazine"
attn: Reviews
1316 El Paso Drive
Los Angeles, CA 90065
Generally, we like to receive 2 copies of everything (1 for review and one for possible airplay on No-Fi "Radio"). Please do not send original masters, nor any payola (we do like stickers and any other promotional materials though). DO NOT send us MP3s via e-mail. We would accept them on CD or zip disc, but our e-mail accounts can not handle the size of MP3s at this time.

For any other information, E-Mail Chris Beyond at the link below.