NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
presents
A Message from Mary, the Mother of God.
as interpreted from the ancient text by Roger Boxx



I have had it up to my uterus with the pope always asking me if I'm “on the rag” just because I voice my opinion. “Shut the fuck up! That's none of your goddamn business, you mongoloid pedophile.” I always quip, whether I'm checked into the Red Roof Inn or not. Why should my blood flow validate or invalidate my opinion or my behavior? I'm sick and tired of men second guessing my motives while they wager whether or not Aunt Flow is visiting.

Many women are embarrassed about their bleeding, an attitude which our society encourages. Advertisers teach,” Watch this bulimic model shove our product up her hooch and no one will be able to tell she's at high tide!" We don't take nearly the effort to hide having to blow our nose or use the restroom. Why must we go to so much effort to conceal the fact we're riding the redeye. "We now offer flying deodorant pads so you won't smell so fishy during ruby leak week!" It is natural for our bodies to give off odors. Smelling each other has been an important part of sexual attraction as we have evolved throughout millennia.

If you don't believe women are humiliated about their blood squirts, how many times have you found some woman's stained blood-catching liner, tampon or pad wrapped in toilet-paper in a stall of a public restroom? Why didn't that woman put Dracula's tea-bag in the trashcan by the door? Because she was too embarrassed to let others know that she was “code red” and flowing! How many times have you been eating someone out only to be surprised by the copper taste of bloody discharge, because your partner was too ashamed to tell you she was having her period? My poor little Jesus had just that sort of experience and it turned him off from the box forever.

Enough is enough.

There is no reason to deceive the world into thinking the red faucet is never on. It is time to be honest with our communities and ourselves. No longer will men have to speculate as to whether or not we women are expelling DNA. It is time for women to stop hiding our femininity and our status on the menstrual cycle. Now, we, women, will join together in a show of solidarity and cast off the shackles of panty-liners, tampons, and pads. There is no reason to conceal the natural bloody debris from our vaginas. We will stop denying our true nature and allow the colors and odors of womanhood to gush for all to share. Rebooting the ovarian operating system is a natural process which must be recognized, appreciated, and respected.

Imagine a world where blood pours freely with stains and spots for all to see and smell. The damns of secrecy and dishonesty will crumble and burgundy truth will burst forth like the rapids of the mighty Colorado River (If the Colorado River was red corn-syrup rather than water). In this new menstrually honest world, men and women will interact without pretense or contempt. Even the youngest child will be keenly aware of the menstrual cycle that haunts every woman. Young girls will no longer be shocked when their bodies enter puberty and they first saddle up Old Rusty and learn the truth about the curse of Mother Eve and their evil bleeding vaginas. Young women will no longer fear grossing out their lovers with the truth of panty paintings. Think of all those young men who will not be surprised by menstrual chunks as they go down on their sweethearts while the red moon is rising. With the blood stains of red ribbon week for all to witness, even the homeliest young sow is likely to get boned by the young man who refuses to wear a rubber. Unplanned pregnancies, a subject I am all too familiar with, will be a thing of the past as the world learns to embrace humping during the monthly shedding of the uterine lining.

It is my prayer; we will join hands and let the truth flow while our redheaded cousin from down south visits crotch canyon. I leave you with the immortal words of the whore, Carly Simon,...

“It's asking for the taking.
Come flow with me now,
the sky is the color of red
you've never even seen
in the eyes of your lover.

Oh, my heart is aching.
We're coming to the edge,
running on the blood,
coming through the scarlet,
your sons and daughters.

It's asking for the taking.
Trembling, shaking.
Oh, my cramp is aching.
We're coming to the edge,
running on the blood,
coming through the scarlet,
your sons and daughters.

Let the river run,
let all the dreamers wake the nation.
Come, the New Jerusalem”


Sincerely,
Mary


Helpful Resources:

Museum of Menstruation: http://www.mum.org
Teen Periods: http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/menstruation.html


No-Fi "Magazine"