Chris Beyond
No-Fi "Magazine" Editor & Creator; Interviews, Articles, Reviews, Illutrations, Photography / No-Fi "Radio" Creator & DJ
E-Mail: nofimag@hotmail.comFRIENDSTER Profile, MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
Cat On Mars: Carrie's Cosplay Site
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
Read my intro to this issue when it goes up. Pretty creepy.
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
I got sun poisoning at This Aint No Picnic a few years back. I started feeling sick during SONIC YOUTH's set. On the way home I started hallucinating which made me thing somebody had slipped me something. I was sick and in bed for a couple weeks. It was horrible. I made a sweat stain in the shape of my body in the sheets. Plus I threw up at work and I had to clean it up. Pretty gross all around. I thought I was going to die in bed.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
At this point I think I'm going to have to say Visitor Q by Takashi Miike. I knew it would be messed up, but I REALLY HAD NO IDEA just how messeed up it would be. This just might be the most disturbing movi of our generation.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
This picture makes me think my nose looks huge, but it isn't. I do have a big toe that can't bend at the "toe knuckle". I think I broke it in high school and it healed badly.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
Knowing several minutes in advance that you are about to die horribly.
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
Sombody who deserves worse, but sadly (or thankfully, really) I'm a peaceful person.
Quin
No-Fi "Radio" Program Director, DJ / Staffwriter; Interviews, Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: nofiradio@nofimagazine.comFRIENDSTER Profile, MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: a tiny radio studio in southern california.
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
www.twfps.com but, only on saturdays and sundays.
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
probably when i dressed as christoper reeve for halloween a few years
ago.
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
the summer of 1986, i thought i was going to die. it all started when i
was watching some tv movie with gary coleman and robert guillaume and ended
up with the worst headache of my life as well as non stop vomiting for two days.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
maybe it's cliche, but i think i still would have to say Eraserhead.
i've seen it a million times and it still creeps me out at certain parts.
also, any film by jodorowsky. midgets and religious symbolism and general. bizarreness=disturbing.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
i wish i did. just a bunch of scars. nothing too exciting.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
getting a moth caught in your ear, you hear it as it eats into your brain.
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
i can't say that out loud.
Ernesto A. Mejia
Staffwriter, Illustrator
E-Mail: ernie@nofimagazine.comLOCATION: Portland, Oregon U.S.A.
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
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MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
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WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
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WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
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DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
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WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
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IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
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Mary Bond
Staffwriter; Interviews, Reviews, Articles, Photography, & More!
E-Mail: marybond@nofimagazine.comWebsite: Angel Wished Designs
FRIENDSTER Profile
LOCATION: Los Angeles, California, USA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
www.iskip.com
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
Bought the movie "Spice World" on video.
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
Like with a cold or flu? I had a fever of 103-104 one time, I was super hallucinating.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
"I Spit On Your Grave"...the concept is just creepy! Yikes!
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
My boyfriend, Keith, said, "Mary has a smile so bright it melted the heart of the Grinch, the Joker, Darth Vader, Freddy Krueger, Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers and Lex Luther and turned them into Teletubbies."
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
Burning alive
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
I would not do such a thing. K-A-R-M-A.
Ryan Lies
Staffwriter; Interviews, Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: ryanlies@nofimagazine.comWebsite: Familiar Studios
MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: Grand Rapids, Michigan
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
The World of Tapirs
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
When I was 4 or 5 I peed in a lemon-juice bottle and got my younger brother to drink it. Why? I don't know. Probably just to see what would happen. Since then, I've only seen OTHER PEOPLE do disturbing things, like that one girl smoking the cigarette with her vagina, but that's a story for another time.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
Either AFTERMATH or SALO (see my review). Probably SALO. Ick.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
I have none, actually. However, I just watched Cronenberg's eary short film CRIMES OF THE FUTURE, and in it he speaks of a "creative cancer" that grows new organs and creates a sense of loneliness and despair in the "host" if the organs are removed. I thought that was pretty cool, so I'll go ahead and say I have that.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
Alone and insane. Otherwise, having my head beat in with a fire-extnguisher. Just saw that in a movie recently. NOT cool.
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
Draco Malfoy
Jeff Roe
No-Fi "Magazine" Advice Columnist / No-Fi "Radio" Sound Assistant
E-Mail: askjeffroe@nofimagazine.comFRIENDSTER Profile, MYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: Silverlake, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
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MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
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WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
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WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
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DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
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WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
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IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
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Pamela "Pixie" Lay
Writer; Articles
E-Mail: pixie@nofimagazine.comMYSPACE PROFILE
LOCATION: Canada......brrrrrr
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
http://www.burningvan.org
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
One of the starngest things that I have ever done? A long time ago, shortly after my then fiance and I had broken up I was going through a very trying time. And I was horny. Unfortunately the bastard destroyed all of our toys, and I was not going to be able to cut it with just my own hands....So I took a condom, a plastic spoon and some Kleenex. I wrapped the Kleenex around the plastic spoon and stuck it inside the condom until desired girth etc. It did the trick and was cheap.
Well a few months later I had sold my couch to an elderly lady who lived in the mall I was living in (I lived in a mall where the 3rd floor was all apts.) and when they brought it to her apartment and she was doing her own thorough cleaning of the couch...deeply rooted inside was my "dildo." That was prolly one of the strangest and most disturbing things that I will actually mention.
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
I will not answer this question on the grounds that it could destroy my already "questionable" reputation.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
Titanic. Celine Dion makes me want to slit my wrists. So does Leonardo DiCaprio.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
Not really. I have neevr been one to share things. I am selfish that way.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
Strapped to a chair in a completely sealed room while Whitneu Houston, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey and The Backstreet Boys music was playing. Water would slowly drip from the ceiling(onto my forehead of course)and it would take me over a week to die.
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
Someimtes myself. Right now? I guess I would have to say.....Forbes. He pissed me off a lot by
spreading rumours about me. Not that I am usually one to really give a flying fuck, but still. I think I would like him gone.
Roger Boxx
Writer/Artist; Articles/Reviews
E-Mail: rogerboxx@nofimagazine.comPERSONAL WEBSITE
LOCATION: Nomad (this month I will be in Georgia, Florida, and Mexico City)
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
http://www.resfest.com/index.php
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
Read No-Fi Magazine.
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
Food poisoning from a street vendor in Durazno, Uruguay. “Super Gringo” was a fat man with a cart offering hot-dogs at all hours of the day and night. About two hours into hotdog-digestion, the flood gates opened at both ends for the following 24 hours. Green peppers and frankfurter out my nose! I have never been so glad to have a beday within heaving distance of the toilet.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
Houseguest (1995), someone decided to give Sinbad a(nother) feature film with the titular role.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
I’m abnormally cool.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
Being slowly eaten alive seems like a pretty crappy way to go.
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
If only one person, I guess: ME. But it depends, where do I reappear?
Linda Castagnola
Writer; Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: Coffinbrat77@msn.comMYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: San Diego, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
Subserviantchicken.com
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
Getting ball gagged and tied to a toliet with electrical tape for a photo shoot.
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
To the point I was so dehydrated and out of it I couldn't remeber my last name.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
Tetsuo Ironman it was a Japanesse film that was very dyterbing cause this guy dies at the side of theroad while these people have sex and watch,then he become biomechanical and tries to kill them, I was less then sober and that movie freaked me out
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
I'm double jointed
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
without a friend in the world
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
My dad because he was mean and I could use his money,lol
Jaysin Thwing
Artist; "Plastic Porn"
E-Mail: E-Mail TkMYSPACE Profile
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
any website talking about being one with the raisin
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
i think that would almost throwing up on the first girl i ever had sex with after busting my nut
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
see above
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
hmmmmm probably woman's best friend. disturbing because a certain part of the dogs anatomy was being inserted in a certain part of the womans anatomy
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
i have a small birth mark on the side of my cock
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
probably being old and dying while being in the sack with someone and not even being able to get off first
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
that's easy...the twacked out junkie that i wasted my time with for 5 months. his name is russell and he lives in west hollywood...
Sabrina Cognata
Writer; Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: sabrina@nofimagazine.com MYSPACE Profile
Website: sabrina_c.blogspot.com
LOCATION: Los Angeles, California
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
TuckerMax.com. Please pay special attention to the “Tucker has buttsex” story. Thank you.
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
Fire. That’s the most I will say about it because my attorneys told me not to speak about.
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
Well, there was that time I decided doing FIFTEEN shots of jager after I drank some absinthe. I vomited black tar in the parking lot of Denny’s on Gower and Sunset for 3 hours. When the vomitting seemed to subside my friends tied a dry cleaning bag around me like a fucking bib. At some point that evening I put in a tampon that I forgot about and ended up having faint signs of TSS when I finally got out of bed around 10pm the following day. I am awesome.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
Well, I was going to go with Twins, but then I realized Danny Devito and The Govinator are not
exactly the kinda disturbing we’re talking about here. I guess I will go with Festen. It is more along the lines of emotionally weird. It’s this guys 60th birthday party and everyone he knows shows up to celebrate. His son decides to give a speech about why his sister killed herself two months earlier.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
I have selective elephantitis.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
I guess lots of cuts made by razor blades until you bled to death. I guess.
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
If I said the entire area of middle America, could that count as one person–since they seem to think with one brain?
Nadith
Writer; Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: nadith@nofimagazine.com LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
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MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
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WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
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WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
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DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
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WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
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IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
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Taryn
Coverstar, Writer; Reviews
E-Mail: taryn@nofimagazine.comLOCATION: East Hollywood (Los Feliz if you're nasty)
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
Favorite disturbing website? www.ogrish.com
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
Considering my job, there's so much to choose from. My boss has sent me home - twice - to test out our soon-to-be-patented "pussy pump."
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
Every year my high school splits into two teams and puts on this huge production and senior year, I was a "captain". After an all-night poster-making session and a full day of school, I came down with the worst stomach bug of my life and was simultaneously suffering, um, lady troubles.
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
"Gigli" - because I laughed once or twice.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
My arms are abnormally, simian-ly long and I can't bend my right arm all the way back, though it bows forward when I lean on it (I broke the elbow in 4 places.)
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
Drowning or suffocation - the helplessness has to be as terrifying as the interminable wait to finally die.
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
Myself
Jessicah Mayhem
Current Cover Photographer/Assistant
E-Mail: jessicah@nofimagazine.comLOCATION: Hollywood, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
The one with the dirty pictures of your mom.
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
I've done some stuff
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
Mentally or Physically???
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
My third nipple and extra rib on my left side.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
You being the last thing I see.
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
My Dad
Victoria Renard
Writer/Photographer; Interviews, Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: victoria@nofimagazine.comMYSPACE Profile
Website: victoriarenard.com, guerrillamonster.com
LOCATION: Seattle, WA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
Dolemite.com
MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
in the recent past, i had sex in the back row of a 24 hour porn theater with my boyfriend (because most of the disturbing, strange and illegal things i do involve him somehow). anyway, it was all his idea but when he couldn't stand all the dirty old men in the rows in front of him turning around, making eye contact, and giving him knowing glances he said, "uuuuh...let's get out of here". as anyone can imagine, the floor was filthy so i complied without much argument.
WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
a cold which turned into walking pneumonia when i was 19. my bed was in a walk-in closet at the time so as i like to remember it: i spent two months in a closet, with a bottle of Nyquil, totally delirious and hacking my lungs up.
nowadays, i can't hold my liquor anymore so i end up throwing up in the bathroom every time i go out, usually more than once. my friends have just dubbed me "The Puker".
WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
The Reflecting Skin. the lead boy in the movie keeps a mummified fetus under his bed and likes to take it out and talk to it. that, and it takes place in Canada.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
i developed a small calcium deposit in the middle of my forehead when i was six. i call it "my third eye". if someone tries to touch it i get a terrible headache.
WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
pretty much any way would be awful with the exception of going in your sleep or due to a nice, peaceful drug overdose. i often think of the poor people who have to handle my maimed, bloody stiff somewhat unidentifiable corpse in the aftermath.
i've heard the iron maiden is not too pleasant because it pierces every part of your body with the exception of your essential internal organs. you bleed to death very slowly and you're already in an enclosed, suffocating space on top of that. thank god they outlawed that one!
IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
Peter Cetera.
then, perhaps, my "Cetera terrors" would stop.
Amy Voorhees
Writer/Artist; Reviews, Articles
E-Mail: amyofdarkness@nofimagazine.comLOCATION: Silverlake, CA
FAVORITE WEBSITE AT THE MOMENT:
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MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE:
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WHAT WAS THE SICKEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN?
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WHAT IS THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
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DO YOU HAVE ANY ABNORMAL FEATURES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
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WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
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IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY, WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
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