Well it looks like that time again. What time? WHAT?!? Oh, CRAP!!!
Yep, Jesus' prescribed birthday AND Hanukkah are only days away and yet again, you forgot to go out and get gifts for everyone. Looks like you've helped ruin the economy yet again. First you made a hissy-fit over gas prices and now this. Hope you feel great knowing that Santa is writing your name on his naughty list at this very moment. (Santa is a little slow, so don't make fun.)
Well, put down that gun and throw those pills down the sink (Grandma didn't need those anyway). Now you have time to redeem yourself in the eyes of a very vengeful lord and your friends. So get dressed and have your computer's most feminine computer voice read this to you before you head out to the store. That's right. We're going to help you buy fun and unusual gifts for those people you didn't think were important enough to buy things for on your first paycheck of the month. And don't worry if you can't find these at your local Wal-Mart. You can find most of these online from stores that have yet to be bought out or destroyed by the one-stop-shopping-palace. It isn't too hard to make those packages look like you sent them weeks ago too (we'll cover how to do THAT another year). Ok, so are you getting your socks on? No, the CLEAN ones.
Let's get shopping!
In 2004 a toy expo was held where beside giving collectors a chance to get together and buy and trade their favorite Qee toys, people were invited to design their own Qee toys using the existing molds used 
for this toy line. These designs were added into the Qee toy line and this year saw the release of these same molds being released in 8" and 16" formats - allowing you or any of your friends to use it as a blank toy "canvas" to do their own design. What would you design? You can either paint your own design on this large format "blank" toy to give to your friends or family for X-Mas or give them a blank one and tell them to paint something cool on it themselves. If it's really good, you can even steal it back although I can't advocate that. Toy2R recommends sending them a picture of your finished work. Who knows maybe somebody you know will end up designing something that ends up in the regular Qee series. Designs that have graced the Qee toys have come from Coop, Shag, Giant, and many other famous artists as well as many you've never heard of. These can be a little pricey though and I'd normally not include these because of that, but because this ends up being an original work of art, I can look past that. Feel free to stick one of these under my Christmas tree too.
The closest film relative that I can think of to this film is MONDO TOPLESS by Russ Meyer. Camp Burlesque is a tongue in cheek romp through a fictional burlesque vacation spot where the gals are all glamorous and the guys are all lucky. Starring Neo-Burlesque legends Erochica 
Bamboo direct from Tokyo and the embodiment of burlesque Kitten DeVille, the screen bounces, wobbles, shimmies and shakes with flesh, fishnets, and tassels set to the excellent martini sipping music of THE MARTINI KINGS and Matthew Sweet (See, he HASN'T disappeared!) and a soundtrack full of even more stars. Carrying you along on this fantastic voyage is a narrator who describes the events in a manor that would've made Russ Meyer proud...then consider suing the creators of the film. But it's all in fun. Fans of the modern burlesque scene will recognize many faces amongst the ladies featured here doing their thing including our own December 2005 coverstar Anna Bells. Maybe some of these people are on your Myspace friends list! Who knows? The film isn't perfect. It is shot to look like an old nudie cutie film, but the scratchy film effect seems like it's just a scratchy film effect. It also feels like it ends just as it's getting started (the film is only a half hour long, but it comes with a ton of extras including a slideshow, outtakes, and a music video) but what's there is good, so if you're a fan of burlesque today, you really should own this. And c'mon...how are you going to beat that cover? You can't. Period. Get this for a good buddy.
I am ALL about design (when I'm not being all about something else at the moment) and these books are right up my alley when it comes to classic magazine cover design. Compiled and written by female magazine publisher Dian Hanson, each volume packs a wallop with great hardbound covers and tons of pages and pages AND PAGES (460 each to be exact) of early men's magazine design and layout within. It also packs a wallop to your wallet at 50 bucks per volume, but trust me - these books are definitely worth it. And best yet, these can be on your shelf and not 
make you look like a pervert. While the content in each volume tends to get more "graphic" with the times, it's never in a way that makes you uncomfortable and honestly I doubt the trenchcoat crowd would be interested in these either. Right now I have the first four volumes and the artwork in each one is so inspiring and really make you wish that people paid as much attention to making every issue a work of art like they did back then. The color printing is amazing and it is great to see these old magazine covers look as new as they probably did back then. Not only do you get to see how cover art, layout, and photography evolve through the years, but you also get to read the history behind many of the major publications and the people who worked on them. The first volume covers the turn of the century to World War II. The second volume covers the time after the war and how magazines drastically changed in that time, Volume three concentrates on the more popular publications in the 60's while volume four covers that same time period but with the more underground and oddity publications. Volumes 5 and 6, just released this month, both cover the turbulent and sexual revolutionary 70s. I can't wait to get them! Get these for your photography or art school friends (guys AND gals).
So I saw this on another site thinking that it was a joke, but this is NO JOKE! This is an actual wooden puzzle model of a modern machine gun that looks not that unlike the M-16 machine gun used in Vietnam. I mean c'mon...this HAS to be a joke, right? No? You're serious? Awwwwww! Ok, you got me! This is obviously a joke...right? No? What? You AREN'T kidding, are you. You ARE serious. I don't know who to blame more...the company that makes this or the society that buys it. Therefore you must buy 12 or 13 of them to keep them away from these people. They also have a wooden Uzi. Just think...you can be just like a wooden version of G.I. Joe's Snake Eyes. Hiding in wooden shadows, setting wooden detonation charges (that I imagine you'll have to carve yourself from a tree trunk with a chainsaw), blowing up wooden enemies and destroying their sad and pathetic wooden lives, all the while hoping that you'll make it home from this wooden war to make it back in time to stop your wooden family from catching on fire from being too close to the fireplace. Get this for your gun nut or kitsch loving friends.
Featuring Tombs of the Blind Dead, Return of the Evil Dead, The Ghost Galleon, Night of the Seagulls, and the documentary Amando de Ossorio: Director, this is the SECOND genre goldmine of the year! Any fear fan wants this DVD collection, trust me. Blue Underground, as usual, has outdone themselves with beautiful looking transfers and loads of bloody extras. Plus, it comes in a coffin-shaped box! This is the complete set of Ossorio's notorious Blind Dead series, colossal hits in Spain (his homeland) yet criminally underseen and underappreciated here in the States. Tombs of the Blind Dead is a master's thesis on atmosphere and quiet terror. One of the all-time best horror films EVER! The sequels, while never as stunning as the original, are spooky fun nonetheless. Ossorio is a masterful, yet overlooked genre director, and the documentary included in this set paints an informative and entertaining look at the man and his work. All the films are uncut and in widescreen. If you have a fan of Euro-horror on your list, this is the gift to get. Or for just any horror fan period.
Featuring Cat People, The Curse of the Cat People, I Walked With a Zombie, The Body Snatcher, Isle of the Dead, Bedlam, The Leopard Man, The Ghost Ship, The Seventh Victim and the Val Lewton documentary Shadows in the Dark, this is THE genre goldmine of the year! All of Val Lewton's classic horror/suspense flicks in one nifty package. Seriously, this DVD set is what the word AWESOME was invented for. God, in His infinite wisdom, gave us this set, spun from the finest vault materials Heaven has to offer. The transfers look pristine, the sound is immaculate, and the package art is completely sumptuous. There aren't many extras, but how many extras do you expect to be around from a crop of movies made in the '40s? Besides, the documentary Shadows in the Dark covers Lewton's career and the films themselves (with an emphasis on the more well-known titles: Cat People, I Walked With a Zombie, etc.) Buy this one for the horror geek on your list, or for the person who loves classic films period. These are all gems, and essential for any serious DVD collection!
Directed by JMM (TEENAGE TUPELO, SUPERSTARLET A.D.) and Victoria Renard (SHINE ON SWEET STARLET), this film has been the toast of the burlesque circuit, playing at burlesque conventions and film festivals around the country. Now it is finally on DVD and sports a DVD cover and booklet design by Chris Beyond. Not only do you get the burlesque loop film BROAD DAYLIGHT featuring the best soundtrack of 2004, but you also get tons of extras and a 2ND DVD disc featuring the film SHINE ON SWEET STARLET, the SHE-quel to BROAD DAYLIGHT. Starring in the film are two of No-Fi "Magazine"'s coverstars Anna Bells (this month) and Kitty Diggins (October 2004) as well as Miss Exotic World Kitten DeVille, Miss Exotic World Dirti Martini, and so many more that this review would be twice as long if I tried to list them. There is even NEW photography on the cover, in the discs, and on a pin-up poster by the world famous Bunny Yeager (famous for her photos of Bettie Page back in the day). So if you like to see modern gals performing classic burlesque dance routines in unusual settings to some of the best garage rock sounds out there, plus the first director's commentary in REVERB, this is the DVD to get for you or your like minded guy AND gal friends.
If you're like me and you spend many hours either in front of a computer reading online ‘zines, hunched over comic books, or slouched on the couch watching DVDs, then these lovely comfort wraps from Bliss Botanics are a godsend! Lavender scented, pleasing to the eye; heat them up or chill them in the freezer and then apply to those aching backs and necks (or anywhere else, really) and feel immediate results. Seriously, the second one of these wraps touches you, you start to relax. It's amazing. Kate Kerkstra, owner of Bliss Botanics is now my hero. Check out her website for lots of other super soothing products, including Eye Soothers, Aromatherapy Spritzer and (my personal favorite) the Boo Boo Buddies. Try these once and you'll wonder how you ever survived without them. Very affordable, too. With all the comfort they bring, you'll think they're a steal!