** A Bunch of Great Holiday Flicks! *
Hand Picked By: Ryan Lies
(now featuring a title in x-massy colors!!!)

Strip away the punk-rock milieu and what you got here is a 1950's juvenile-delinquent / science-run-amok picture. And it's just as much fun those rowdy, rebellious movies of yesterday.

Acne tells the story of a brother and sister, named Franny and Zoe (love the Salinger allusion there!) who wake up one morning to go on a field trip for school. After drinking contaminated water, Zoe grows a huge, pus-y zit on his head. He soon infects his sister with the same affliction; once they leave the house, many more infections ensue.

As one might expect from a movie of this nature, the “zithead” teens do NOT go on a destructive, brain-eating rampage. Rather, they seek out sugary foods and butter to rub on their exposed brains. They crave the very sustenance that will only exacerbate their condition.

Is the army behind this? Is the shifty General Minneburg in cahoots with the less-than-savory “Mershey” chocolate-bar company, masterminding a nefarious scheme to control the youth population? Will the zitheads wander the town, zombielike, for the rest of their young lives, in search of “fuel,” or will they discover a cure?

Acne is a treat, from start to finish, bringing to mind (and lampooning) drive-in exploitation AND “scare-films” of the 50's. The government is corrupt, the grown-ups know nothing of how to handle the crisis, and the poor teens are left to fend for themselves in a world they are only beginning to understand. Roger Corman would be proud.

By making the teens in this flick non-violent, Director Rusty Nails satirizes the adult world's response to the psychological and biological growth of teenagers from all recent eras or our modern age. Most teenagers (and those of us that still remember it lividly) know that not much has changed since the 50's in terms of parents and authority “just not understanding.” Those adults who do mean well can't always assuage the murky passage through the teen years; likewise, those adults who's idea of “helping” is the use of extreme “tough love” and discipline, more often than not wind up doing more harm than good.

Acne ultimately draws the only conclusion any young person ever comes to: even if someone does eventually help them through this “trying period,” they're still left without many answers, and really, it's still up to them make sense of it all, and troop on into adulthood their own way.

But don't let the metaphor and satire get to you. Acne has plenty of fun, gore and rock-n-roll along the way. Like those aforementioned exploitation films of yore, the message is there, but it doesn't mean you can't have a hell of a lot irreverent fun while you're hearing it.

The low-budget Nails and Co. are working with here wonderfully augments the anarchic feel of the flick. It honestly looks like an old movie, and is all the richer for it. The makeup FX are plenty juicy (I mean, you can't have a movie about giant zits on your head without a few tasty “popping” scenes, can you?) but never go over the top. For the sake of ballast, I should mention that the DIY FX are not always convincing, namely the bald-caps the actors wear (the seams do show a bit), but you know what? I don't care, and you won't either. The “peeks-behind-curtain,” so to speak, add to the surreal, grotesque nature of the action. So that's a below-minor quibble. (Hell, I remember a few unfortunate kids in high school who looked as if they might be wearing cheap Leatherface masks. Man, I'm lucky I had a good skin as a teenager. I was already enough of a geek!)

Acne is very beautiful and competently shot (in black-and-white), and edited, for a flick of this degree, which Nails and Co. deserve major props for. A lot of low-budget movies don't look half as good as Acne does. And don't get me started on some of the half-assed editing I've seen. (Plus, I'm an editor myself, so I appreciate it when people actually create composition and sequence, without just pointing a camera and letting things go on and on and on.)

I think there's an extremely bright future ahead for Rusty Nails. The man knows how to work within the parameters of a low-budget. And I'm nothing but fond of the films he seems to draw inspiration from. (Romero is another big influence, as some scenes in Acne brought Night of the Living Dead and The Crazies to mind, in a good way.) I can't wait to see more of his work. The DVD features some of short film and music video work. I particularly enjoyed the Santo spoof Santiago vs. Wigface and Blood Drinkers. There's also an informative director's commentary track; Nails knows his stuff and is a treat to listen to.

On a personal note, I knew I was gonna like this one right away, when DEVO's “Mongoloid” popped up on the soundtrack. Amen and awesome!

Which is probably what you will be saying (like I was) as the movie rolled to a close. Acne is one to check out. And keep your eye on that Nails fella. He's goin' somewhere!

A lot has been said or written about Sarah Silverman's first concert film based on her stage show titled "Jesus Is Magic" and although I saw it on opening night, it's taken me this long to get a review up.

I've always had a little crush on Sarah SIlverman. That in itself is pretty rare because you can count the number of celebrities I've been attracted over my lifetime to on one hand (but it's always best to work it out on paper first before you commit to using your fingers).

By the way, I know that by this time many of you have thought of several charming "with one hand" and "fingers" jokes to make yourselves chuckle so I'll give you a few moments to resolve that.



Ok now? All done? Good.

So if you aren't already familiar with Sarah Silverman's work, she has worked on Saturday Night Live, Mr. Show, The Aristocrats, and recently she was starring in a show called Pilot Season which was pretty good, despite low ratings. Anyway, it's her standup which I think shines above anything she's ever done so far. And that is just what this film is about. This is a concert film not too unlike any HBO comedy special in terms of format. CONTENT;...that's a whole other matter. We're talking Richard Pryor/David Cross/George Carlin/Margaret Cho territory here.

Sarah Silverman is cute and charming...and she also has a dirty dirty potty mouth. The film starts with her hanging out with a couple friends (played by her sister Laura Silverman and comedian Brian Posehn). They both tell her about the many projects they are working on and she struggles through describing a huge live performance that she thought of on the spot. This leads to the first song of the film where she resolves to actually put a show together and in a moment of personal tribulation decides that she should be the star of the show as well. This is just framing for the show to take place which was filmed live in Los Angeles. In the show you'll hear her talk about such family time subjects such as when she was being ejaculated on by her boyfriend only to realize that she was becoming just like her mother or about the debate as to whether Jews killed Jesus or the Romans..."I'm one of the few people who believe it was the blacks." One of my favorite lines from the show was "When god gives you AIDS, and god DOES give you AIDS,...you make LemonAIDS. She also throws in a few classics like 'I'll be the first person to say nazis were A-Holes, but you know they were probably cute when they were little.'

I can't write her delivery here. She comes off as a big cutie with dirty thoughts. Just when you think she's about to get serious (kinda like how Margaret Cho does in her films), she uses it to jab you even harder. It all has a point; the meaning of words and tolerance in a modern world. But a lot of the fun comes out of the fact that she doesn't let you linger on those thoughts for long before hitting you with something else just as crazy or even crazier.

There are some rough spots though. The musical numbers drag a couple times (mostly just though the choruses) and the transition from concert to skit can be a little choppy. This is the same director as TENACIOUS D's upcoming film PICK OF DESTINY so hopefully those kinks'll be worked out better in their film.

Sarah's a shocking and funny performer and I highly recommend seeing this film. If you haven't seen her live shows, then you are in for a treat (or headed for the exits depending on how sensitive you are). See this with your grandparents and in-laws the first chance you get.

Oh, and by the way, the make-out scene at the end is one of the best shot love scenes is all of screen history. JESUS IS MAGIC is in theaters now. Check your local listings for showtimes.

Sinners and Saints is an over-the-top, blasphemous sex and blood fest from indie directors Melantha Blackthorne and Jason Cavalier, and it just might be one of goofiest and flat-out entertaining underground, DIY movies I've seen all year.

Never once taking itself seriously, Sinners tells the story of Father Carmichael Drake Jason Cavalier), a sword-wielding, kung-fu priest, and his sexy, balls-kicking sidekick Sister Jordan Merrick (Liz Faure). Together they are summoned by Necrotia, the Queen of Hell (Melantha Blackthorne), with a rebellion forming in Hades. While on their way to this rendezvous with the underworld, they must battle satanic cops who are kidnapping young girls and sacrificing them (and, occasionally, raping them in cemeteries.)

Sinners doesn't try to be anything more than what it is, and is balls-out fun because of it. While at times Blackthorne and Cavalier get carried away with the hellish sex scenes and WAY-outrageous action sequences, they manage to keep the story simple and on track throughout.

Don't be surprised if along the way you set concerns about the story aside, and just revel in the rampant deviancy on screen, however. No offensive, gory, or just plain obnoxious stone is left unturned as the mayhem unfolds.

Cavalier's action set-pieces are quite awesome to behold, as people flip and fly through the air Jet Li style. For a shot-on-video production, I was pretty damn impressed. Limbs are hacked, a nun's tits come flying out of her habit (and she keeps fighting, while one of the demonic police officers starts to jerk off), and in one completely ridiculous (and I mean that in a good way) moment, a man's entire penis is kicked up through his body and out his mouth. The special FX here are a bit hokey, but it works anyway.

And this is just the beginning of the movie. There's more to follow, and the insanity never lets up. As if the filmmakers just said “We don't care about a low budget, or that we're shooting on video ... lets just make this as wild as possible.” And believe me, they do. All the while, some great, throaty death-metal grinds in the background.

And there are visual jokes galore. The priest eats Christos cereal. Sister Jordan lives at Lady of the Righteous Fist Battle Convent. A "JESUS DIGS ME" sticker is seen on Father Carmichael's bumper (by the way, I want one!) There's even a GPS, Vatican satellite bearing the moniker Vat-Sat: Ezekial 2.16. (I laughed out loud at that one.)

The only drawback to the movie is that there is sometimes a little too much editing, and, occasionally, an over-reliance on digital, post-production gimmickry. Said gimmicks, while interesting to look at, seemed a bit unnecessary to me. But that's a minor quibble. These things didn't subtract from my enjoyment of the flick at all.

Sinners reminded me of the good, tasteless movies Troma used to make. It is, in fact a lot more entertaining than some of the unwatchable dreck Troma has been putting out as of late (Toxic Avenger 4, anyone?) Cavalier and Blackthorne are quite talented and know what makes a good exploitation flick work.

With wonderfully choreographed fight scenes, lots of boobs, guns and spurting blood (and the occasional severed-dead rape) Sinners and Saints is one to check out. A lot of these homemade, DIY, shot-on-video movies are hard to get through, but this one is a hell of a lot of devilish fun from the get-go. Great late-night, six-pack viewing.

A definite must for fans of The Toxic Avenger, Street Trash, Rabid Grannies, Class of Nuke 'Em High or Bad Taste.