no-fi "magazine" presents
I HATE 2005.
introduction and comments collected by chris beyond, january,2006


What did the world ever do to deserve 2005? Wait, don't answer that. What did the world ever do to deserve US? Did the world inflict the bastard year that is 2005 on us or did we inflict 2005 on the world? It seems like everyone I talked to about the year 2005 from all over the country and all over the world has this common agreement that 2005 was just a bad year in general. Not all of us had the same experiences...and yet those of us who were lucky to survive 'Oh Five' left that year with a bad taste in our mouths. So I sent out a call for people's opinions on 2005 among some of our pals in the music and entertainment community and this is what I got. 2005, you are about to be spanked.


Brig Feltus, musician

For me, 2005 was a year of reconciling my inner truths with my actions. World events forced me into vocal action in ways I'd never taken on before. I am no longer hesitant to speak my mind, and to reach out to those I feel are lacking exposure to some element of the truth and to open myself to the possibility that there is much that I too must learn. Outreach has become a necessary part of my life, personally and professionally. '05 brought it to my attention that community is still a very necessary component in a successful society, despite the onslaught of technology that makes it very difficult to make real personal investments in each other. We still need each other in very tangible ways, in order to make the world a better place.

The year seems to have created a quiet revival of the concepts of activism, charity, and fellowship. Social responsibility is the only way to make change. Good intentions don' t matter in a world where people are so far removed from the dark that goes on around them. The only thing that matters is when you do something to incite change. I am inspired by 2005 to start with my own life in 2006.


Desiré d'Amour, Burlesque Performer

The year 2005 was a bittersweet year as it was the beginning and the end of many things dear to me. I moved from San Francisco to Tucson, which was a huge change, both good and bad. I spent a large part of 2005 missing San Francisco, its music scene, the burlesque world and all the great food! But I performed in my new hometown to a sell out crowd and moved to a serene and beautiful home.

Two thousand five all brought the end of the SF installment of the Va Va Voom Room so the New Year was rung in with some sadness.

Finally, Exotic World moved from its sentimental home in the middle of the desert (Helendale) to move to its new jazzy home in the middle of the desert (Vegas!) A welcome change, but also the end of an era off Route 66.

The best part of the year was meeting Jesus at the Jesus Christ! Burlesque Revue in LA - what a life changing experience!

All in all, 2005 seemed to be measured in large leaps forward tempered by little steps back, but in the end I feel like we all came out ahead.


dLo, Hip Hop Artist / Producer

2005 to me was just another step in the wrong direction for the planet in general. For me personally, it has been a chance to build and protect myself and improve my character and attitude so that my immediate surroundings can remain calm despite the troubles around about.


Don Spiro, photographer

2005 in summation? Too much to describe and too soon. Have to be pithy.


"Well, that WAS a year, wasn't it?"


Dukey Flyswatter, actor / producer

2005 was like wading through a fountain in front of an art museum trying to get spare change.When the President talks to God do you think God says, "O.K George now talk real stupid. I love it when you do that?"


Gemma, bass player of the band KAITO

2005 was one of the hardest years for KAITO in my opinion. It was mainly based on trying to get the best sound and producer for the new record and on our own personal survival. It was back to part time work for us! And not much playing live or touring. We were hoping to have the record out sooner, but I promise, the wait will be worth it as we're writing more, better songs and it's gonna sound the best we can get it!

The highlights were playing in Greece, and we did a tour in Britain with BLOC PARTY, which is probably the biggest tour we've done so far, with regards to the size of venues. We also got to play the University of East Anglia in Norwich, which is the biggest venue in our home town and we all grew up watching bands there. So that felt good for us all. We also got to play Brixton Academy in London, which is a massive venue for us. Well, for most bands I guess!

This year I feel is gonna be a lot better and you should be hearing a lot more from us. We hope to be in the States at some point AVEC new record and I hope everyone will like it as much as I do (even though I do say so myself!)


Jennifer Wilmoth, Housewife / Fanzine Writer

For me, this past year has been especially extraordinary in many ways. In fact, I can even go so far as to say that this year is the first year I actually came out of my "shell" and started enjoying life. It all started with some information which led me to create the Alain Whyte Fanzine, "No One Can Hold A Candle To You." This may not sound like a huge achievement to many of you, but for a shy housewife with severe social anxiety, let me tell you, to start an endeavorer like this was huge. For this shy housewife, 2005 has been extraordinary and I look forward to experiencing 2006 with less fear and more hope than any of my past years.


Jessicka, lead singer of the band SCARLING

2005 was quite a momentous year, by almost any measure; devastating hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, the ongoing war in Iraq, worldwide terrorist attacks, a new pope, changes in the Supreme Court, political wrangling, data thefts, celebrity scandals, and trying not to listen to the constant inane ramblings of the worst president the US has had to date. Quite possibly the biggest headlines for the year in our world - and all I got was this lousy T- shirt.


Johnny Cavanaugh, D.J. / Producer / Slacker

2005 made my head hurt...A year to forget..


Loud Louisa, Burlesque Performer / Promoter

ok here's my quote for 2005.
"I've been thrown outa better places!"
oh crap that's what Mae West Said.

Ok here's my quote for 2005
"if it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have any at all"
...oh does that make me sound too depressing?

ok here's my quote for 2005
"I'd rather be baking pies"


LØzninger, one-piece band

If only I could manage to be in the cover of No-Fi this year...


Lyssa, model / no-fi "magazine" coverstar - december 2005

"the challenges 2005 only made me look forward to 2006 and beyond".


I know it's borning and vague, but my year was a sucky uphill battle peppered with a few brilliant moments. For me and my loved ones around me....it was a year of challenges that made us feel like our asses were kicked and glad to be in the past. I truly hope yours was better. And being a No-Fi coverstar was one of the highlights!!


Otis Fodder of THE BRAN FLAKES

2005. Good nutty year for me. I lived in 4 different cities, five different houses, drove many miles, fell two stories and crushed my foot spending months in a cast, walked a mile on a beach and down a cliff on crutches to go to a wedding, have some horrific roommate stories, met a wide multitude of people from a world yo-yo champion to a voodoo priest to a madam to a group of carneys, and now in 2006 I have slowed down once again and I'm looking forward to the adventure of renting movies this evening in the Reno Nevada area. Outside of my miniscule world, it was a good year for music, mass proliferation of DIY bands getting more fans and PR via the internet. Katrina and other events this year opened up more blind eyes to the fact that we have a bastard president and administration that need to be booted. The real nice thing about 2005 was that I met a lot of really nice people and moved closer to some old friends and family, the important stuff in life. Best in 2006 to the entire No-Fi "Mag" Team!


Quin, No-Fi "Radio" DJ

I hated 2005 and 2005 hated me. I hope we never have another 2005 again.


Miss Satanica, Performance Artist / Fire Eater

2005- The New Bush Order is in full effect. Thousands of people are dying. In Los Angeles no one cares as they pollute my beautiful streets with thier overbearing S.U.V.'s. The only thing that really mattered was Brad and Angelina, anyway.

2005 taught me more about TOLERANCE than any other year.

2005 taught me not to take shit, moreso than any other year.

2005 proved that people are useless.

2005 taught me that it is possible to fuck a ghost.

2005 showed me that I can still laugh through all of this.

But in 2006 there is a ray of hope that came in the form of a little white cyclops kitty. This kitty is more important than a white buffallo. This kitty will bring peace.

Dear God, let's hope something does anyway.


Vahe Vahe, lead singer of the band NU-TRA / Actor

Johnny Cochrane came to me in my dreams and said "2006 is too late to fix".


Victoria Renard, Director / Photographer

I dunno. It was a pretty weird year for me. It may be hard to sum it up in one short quote. I think my Myspace "about me" kind of says it best: "A series of wrong turns and missed phone calls."

I'm also now living with the guy who made my new year's eve last year the most miserable of my life. This year we called each other at midnight, once from the Central time zone (me) and once from the Pacific (him). How gay is that? We're decorating the house and making chicken soup in the crock pot tonight. Ai yi yi.


Tom Scharpling, Film & Television writer / DJ / Host of The Best Show On WFMU

2005 was a whole lot of horrible for so many different reasons that I've been struggling to write something that even remotely resembles humor. Two suicides, a court case, an audit, a car accident, health problems, scary neighbors, and more. Holy shit! How'd all that stuff take place in the course of one fucking calendar?!

But now it is dead. 2005 is gone. We outlived it. We're still standing, as Elton John said. We're still alive, as Eddie Vedder said. We win, 2005. You lose. So go eat a deek. And take the douchebags and liars and frauds with you. Because 2006 is The Year That The Good Guys Win. Through sheer force of will, 2006 is gonna be a great year. We have to do that mass visualization that they do on Coast to Coast Radio - just keep imagining 2006 as an awesome year And It Will Happen. We will make it happen.

I would like to end on a joke, since I am expected to make the people laugh:

What did Jesus say to the teamster? Don't do anything until I get back.

That's how we get it done over here - drippy and positive, except when it comes to the teamsters.


No-Fi "Magazine" would like to thank everyone here who contributed to this article and a "No Thank You, Sir" to the year 2005 to which this article is dedicated. Goodbye 2005...and don't come round here no more.




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