conducted by chris beyond, october 15, 2006
It was the night of the "New Wave Fuckfest" at the club known as The Smell in Downtown L.A. and the name of the club couldn't have been more appropriate as somebody human had left something terrible in the alleyway leading to the entrance. We came to see NEW COLLAPSE and BUBONIC PLAGUE, but left the show having also seen FIFTY ON THEIR HEELS.
FIFTY ON THEIR HEELS is a band from San Diego. Their debut self titled CD was released earlier this year on Cat Dirt Records. Their sound is heavily influenced by late seventies/early eighties punk, but they manage to still sound fresh and original. Halfway through their set at The Smell I knew I had to get them in the magazine. We arranged an interview and about a month later I found myself at The Echo, having arrived terribly early, and waiting on my friend and photographer Laurie Wilson who had been enjoying a day at Octoberfest - not realizing that I wanted her to do pictures that night. She hadn't arrived yet, but still, we started the interview in front of their van around the corner...
J = Junior Metro (Singer/Guitar Player)
N = Niky Shingles (Bass)
R= Rush Press - aka Justin - (Drums)
C = Chris Beyond (Census Taker)
L = Laurie Wilson (Photographer)
M = Melissa Lang (Haberdasher)
C: Tell us the amazing origin of FIFTY ON THEIR HEELS.
J: It goes back to 199...7?
N: Yeah, we used to play in a punk band called THE FIRST WAVE BOYS when we were all...like...like I was seventeen. Justin was sixteen and Junior was old enough to buy us cigarettes and pornography.
J: (smiling) Yeah... That was my job.
N: That was what he did. It was pretty awesome.
C: Was that in San Diego?
J & N: Yeah.
N: Yeah.
C: If you could magically switch bodies with another band like in Freaky Friday or 18 Again, which band would you switch with?.
J: (laughing) I wouldn't switch with anybody.
C: (holding tape recorder closer to his face) Say it again?
J: I wouldn't switch with anybody. I'm fine.
N: Yeah, I'm pretty happy where I'm at.
R: Um....probably YES.
(Everyone laughs)
N: (laughing) YES!
C: But which era? Like the eighties? The seventies?
R: Seventies. Seventies YES.
C: All right! With Tower Records going under and with labels taking on less and less bands, name one thing that would help fix the "music industry"? (making quotation marks with my fingers).
J: Get rid of all the stupid bands that are out right now.
N: I really don't know. I don't know anything about the music industry. I didn't even know Tower Records was going under, so...
C: I just found out.
J: I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.
N: Pop music has always been pretty bad.
J: Yeah.
C: For a second I thought you were gonna say, "Pop music's cool though." (Everyone laughs) "That's what works right?"
J: Yeah.
C: What's your favorite amusement park ride?.
N: Oh! I really liked the haunted house at Disneyland until they changed it all around and made it all fucked up. It's like Nightmare Before Christmas now.
C: Oh, they do it every year...for a couple months or so.
N: Really? So it goes back to normal again?
C: Yeah.
N: Awesome. So I'll take that back.
J: I've only been to state fairs so all I know is the Galvatron.
C: Galvatron? What's that?
J: That's the thing that makes you spin around and puke.
C: It makes you swallow your tongue! I hate that thing.
J: That's all I know
C: Is that the thing where you go against the wall? Like everyone's against the wall?
J: I went to Disneyland... Last time I was at Disneyland, I think I was like seven years old. I went on the ride...where the big monkey comes out...at the top of the mountain...and I pissed my pants.
C: (Feigning uncomfortable) Uhhhh...
N: That's uh...
C: Matterhorn.
J: Yeah that. (Everyone laughs) I don't... I don't...
C: (laughing) He said " big monkey" and...
N: Abominable Snowman, Junior.
R: That's a Yeti Dude!
J: I don't like that anymore, so I don't go on rides.
C: Awww... (motions to Justin) How 'bout you?
R: I always like the Pirates Of The Caribean...before they ruined it and made it....
C: Depp-a-licious?
R: Yeah
J: I like It's A Small World actually.
J: I hate A Small World.
C: I'm grading you all on this by the way. So, Yeah, that's All right...It's got some Sixties design in there. Yeah, all right.... (Everyone laughs.) So have you SEEN the Johnny Depped version of, uh...?
R: No, I have not.
N: They changed it?
C: They put Johnny Depp in there.
R: I know...I heard they changed it.
N: Awwwww!
R: The pirates don't chase the whores around.
N: No! They're chasing them because they're carrying bread now.
C: Food, yeah. Which makes sense.
R: Yeah, that doesn't make sense.
C: Yeah, cuz...pirates...like food.
R: Like bread? Yeah....
C: OoooOOOOooooh... Have you ever held a monkey?
R: No. I hate monkeys.
N: Monkeys are disgusting. I would never hold a monkey.
J: Nah, I've never held a monkey before. What kind of monkey?
C: (sarcastically) Uh, I guess not a Yeti.
J: I've held my penis.
C: (sarcastically) I've never heard THAT before. (I laugh at my own hilarity.)
N: Do you like monkeys?
C: They're ok. I had a moment with a monkey once.
(I relay a very personal story about meeting a monkey.)
R: Monkeys aren't meant to be held. Leave them out in the wild to throw shit at each other...
(The band brings up random monkey things like the E. Bola Virus. I move on.)
C: Ah... how has Tom and Katie's baby affected the music writing of FIFTY ON THEIR HEELS?
J: Who?
C: You know... Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes baby
R: Suri! She's been unveiled, dude.
J: I don't care.
N: I was thinking about getting a Suri cut, but I'm going bald, so...I can't really work it.
(Everyone laughs)
R: It didn't really affect me at all, but I was curious...how those two had a chinese baby. That was pretty miraculous. I think Katie's got some questions to answer for sure.
(We talk about Katie's possible faked pregnancy and Tara Reid's bad boob job)
C: Which of your songs would Dick Cheney like the best?
N: Occupation.
R: Occupation. I think he could relate to that, you know? Going to work everyday... Everyone could relate to that. I'd have to say "Occupation."
J: I'd say the same. I don't know. Maybe, um...maybe "Panic."
N: (Laughing) "Panic!" Yeah, "Panic!"
R: That would work too. He's in panic right now.
C: (Thoughtful pause) ...Oh, let's hope so. Uh, what's your favorite animal sound?
N: Favorite animal sound? (Very long silence) Cricket cricket... I don't know. What kind of sounds did Animal make? The muppet... Remember the muppet Animal?
R: Ahhhhh...Yes, he was very good.
C: He's like "Arrrrrgghhh."
N: I liked all of Animal's sounds.
J: He's a great drummer.
C: What's that?
J: Great drummer.
C: Ok, wha... Oh, WHO are some of your favorite local bands?
R: We like NEW COLLAPSE a lot.
J: NEW COLLAPSE, TEENAGE TALKING CARS,...THE NEW MOTHERFUCKERS... GRAND OL PARTY...
N: GRAND OL PARTY's really good.
C: Now that North Korea claims to have the bomb, is it finally ok to say that it was a great idea to invade Iraq? (Everyone laughs) ...Cuz I'm so political.
(Junior runs away and then returns.)
J: Those guys are assholes man.
R: Ah...of course not! That's ridiculous.
J: It was never ok.
C: I always hate asking about influences but uh...
J: Reggae. I like Reggae. That's my influence.
(I get a call from Laurie Wilson who is inside the club looking for us. I tell her to come join us.)
N: I listen to a lot of Funk. I'm a big fan of Bootsie Collins and uh, MORRIS DAY AND THE TIME, and Prince. I Like PARLIAMENT.
C: I like Prince. I never got into PARLIAMENT.
N: Really?
C: (snickers) Not that anyone cares.
N: I love PARLIAMENT.
R: Oh, pretty much just Punk and the offshoots of Punk. 78 to 84. Around that period of time. There's no mystery in that if you saw us.
N: That's why I didn't mention it before. We're all very influenced by 70's punk.
(Laurie Wilson and Melissa Lang arrive)
C: Hello Laurie... Are you drunk?
M: Yes, she is drunk.
N: That makes four of us!
L: I have to go pee.
C: Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't go when you were in there?
L: No, there was like this scary shower-bathroom thing... I'm like "uhhhhhh.." ...with this rainbow shower curtain... Oh, no.
C: Are you sure? That was like a snuff film set or something.
L: It was UPSTAIRS, where you guys are supposedly performing.
C: What?
N: Upstairs?
L: Melissa led me up there. I was like, "There's an upstairs?!?" ...and she led me upstairs.
C: I don't think you're playing upstairs.
M: No, you're not PLAYING upstairs, but the band hangs out up there.
L: I've never been upstairs!
M: You get like couches and chips and water bottles.
L: It's all special and shit up there.
C: Each of you HAS a personal waiter!
L: (to the band) Hello.
C: Hello. This is Laurie.
(Everyone introduces themselves.)
L: I had the hiccups, but I think they're gone. We walked here because I had the hiccups.
M: We walked 3 blocks from that way.
L: 5 blocks.
C: That's not so bad. I'm just two blocks that way.
M: She was very nervous. She wanted to run...to meet the band.
(I talk photo stuff with Laurie. We find out that the band is living L.A. at 4am.)
C: I'm going to wrap this up and everything! What I always like to do at the end of every interview is ask what your closing words of wisdom for our No-Fi readers are... So...
J: No comment.
C: No no no. Don't do that. Everyone's got something to say.
J: It's just one of those rare moments where I don't have anything to say. I don't know. We're on the spot now.
L: Nooo to drugs.
N: No matter how many people make fun of your car...used cars are nice, especially when they have a salvage title. And you got them for a thousands buck and they've lasted for three years.
C: See, that's excellent. (To Justin) Yours has to be as good as that.
R: (laughs) It won't be. That's hard to beat. How `bout... How `bout "Look ahead,...not behind." (laughs again)
J: When driving to L.A. and you wake up hung over, always remember to pack clean underwear with you.
We all say our thanks and good-byes and we all make our way into The Echo. As it was late and I was beat from doing 2 interviews and 2 photoshots in one weekend and Melissa was starting to get heavy-eyed, the three of us left before the band went on. But luckily they'll be back very soon as they have more shows scheduled and will be recording their follow-up album soon in L.A..
You can find the band on their Myspace profile right now. Their current self titled album is out on Cat Dirt Records and I know I'll be listening to it for years to come. If you get a chance, do yourself a favor and while your asking favors of yourself, feel free to ask yourself to buy you the FIFTY ON THEIR HEELS CD. You'll thank yourself for it later and maybe you'll even get lucky with yourself while you're at it.
THE END
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