NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
interview with
Here's a band I've been wanting to work with forever. They're basically a transplanted punk rock band from England who now live here in Hollywoodland, USA. We did this interview at a little pub on Sunset in Hollywood called The Cat & The Fiddle. We find a little booth...
THE INTERVIEW
M = Mick Bladder (Vocals)
S = Sterling Paramour (Guitar/Vocals)
L = Langdon Alder (Bass)
B = Brian Ward (Drums/Not Present)
C = Chris Beyond (Silly Questions)
C: How did the band get it's start?
M: It started in England...me and Langdon were school chums. Then we moved to London then we moved over here and along the way we found Sterling and recruited him. He's from London, we're from Manchester.
C: So you (indicating Sterling) came in and what happened?
S: I wrote some good songs for them then people started to like us.
C: Which muppet do you each identify with and why?
S: Dr. Teeth.
C: Ahhhhh.
S: I like Dr. Teeth. He seems a bit zany.
M: Beaker. I wouldn't want that kind of hair, though.
S: How about you?
C: Um...I guess...Scooter. You remember Scooter?
S: Oh yeah.
S & M: The gopher.
C: I don't know what he was. I just remember he had glasses. He always hyped about something. I guess that's me. It's always a bigger deal to him than it is to anyone else.
S: I like that bloke who plays the saxophone as well.
C: Zoot!
(My girlfriend orders "chips" [If you don't understand, I'm not gonna tell] and we all dig in.)
C: What's your favorite childhood memory?
M: Thunderbirds! Thunderbirds are go! I'm still in the fanclub.
C: (Acting as if I don't know what they're talking about, but I do) I like them! They're the puppet guys right?
S & M: Super-Marionation!!!
S: and mine was Captain Scarlet. He had a smart leather jacket and was unshaven.
C: I don't remember Captain Scarlet.
S: Captain Scarlet was banned in America. They didn't like it.
C: I've never seen it.
S: You never saw it? It's really good.
C: I think I may have heard of it, though.
M: Every episode somebody got murdered.
S: He's a captain who comes back to life...
J: (Mis-understanding what they said) He's a Scotsman?!?
(Laughing ensues)
S: No, he's indestructible
M: He would kill people every episode. He would say, "Captain Scarlet is indestructible...you are not."
C: So, he was kinda' like The Crow...before there were Crow comics and movies.
M: No, he was better than the Crow.
S: He'd kill The Crow.
C: (Sarcasticly) Hey, The Crow is Gothic...C'mon!
S: Captain Scarlet was proto-gothic!
C: You can't get better than Super-marionation.
S: Next question.
C: Here's a silly question...what's the coolest thing about being in a band. That's like the Teen-Beat question.
S: You get to rehearse with your friends every couple a' days. You get to see plenty of the people that you love so dearly. I like playing shows. Playing shows where they're kids there and they like it. It廣 better than playing places where everyone廣 seated and everybody is in a band and they all think they're better than anyone else.
M: There isn't much advantages to being in a band at all, I'm afraid. People laugh at you on the street.
S: Why do you do it?
M: I have know idea. Got nothing better to do. Too stupid to quit.
C: Oh, uh, uh, why didn't Luke Skywalker cross the road?
(No answer...they just kinda' look at me)
C: Um...cuz he didn't want to go to the dark side. (Blank stares) But I also would have accepted..."cuz he didn't want to get a ticket for Skywalking." (More stares of pity) There.
S: You made that up yourself?
C: No. (Pause) Is England more like the movie Mary Poppins or is it more like the movie Excaliber?
S: I think it's more like The Full Monty.
C: You don't have the chimney sweeps anymore?!?
M: Chimberly sweeps.
S: Is it?
M: Yes...Chimberly.
S: Who told you that? It's Chimney sweeps!
M: Dick Van Dyke was very convincing. I always thought he was English when I was little. Convincing accent.
S: What was Excaliber?
C: Early eighties movie about King Arthur.
M: It's like Excaliber...we all ride horses and carry swords.
C: Who are some of your favorite local bands?
S: DEAD MAN'S CHOIR and LUCIFER...and SNAP-HER.
M: Um...THE AUTHORITY...SKID ROW...
S: THE STITCHES are a good band!
M: Oh, yeah, I like THE STITCHES.
S: They're good band...a good punk rock band.
M: I like THE EAGLES.
C: THE EAGLES?!?
M: Yes THE EAGLES.
C: THE BIG EAGLES?!?!?
M: Yes, THE Huge Fat Old EAGLES.
(We all laugh)
S: Bald EAGLES!
C: That's what they should change their name to. If a stranger offers you candy would you get in his or her car?
S: I've done that before.
M: We only do gigs for candy.
S: Better than getting on the bus anyway.
C: Since we're at The Cat & The Fiddle...what's the best way to skin a cat?
S: I like cats. I'm not answering that question.
C: Awww. that's sweet.
M: I can't answer that question. We love cats. Ask about skinning bass players. We might be able to answer that for you.
C: What's the best way to skin a bass player?
M: WE DON'T KNOW!
S: Wait till he smokes 500 cigarettes and his skins all leathery and wrinkled.
M: Just pull it off him.
S: Just slide it off him. Yeah.
C: That's probably what happed to Keith Richards then...cept he plays guitar. What can people get out of your music?
M: A backache.
S: Good songs. Good music, lyrics...not really much to say, but occasionally there's something.
M: We wanna leave a good taste on people's throats. We wanna change people's lives.
S: You can jump around in the living room to the records. Are you going to mention the records?
C: You can mention the records.
S: We got a new one out on radio records with three other bands from California...WONDERLAND, THE WORKING STIFFS and THE BODIES are excellent. We've got a new single coming out on Pelado Records.
(The bass player, Langdon, shows up with a buncha' people.)
S: (To Langdon) Have you got on your watch?
(They give me a BLADDER BLADDER BLADDER button. It's good!)
C: The whole party's here. (Cept the drummer) The question I just asked is what can people get out of your music?
L: A night out on the town.
(silence)
C: (joking) That wasn't worth it ok!
S: Save your batteries!
C: What's your creepiest nightmare?
S: This is it right here. (laughing)
L: I don't remember dreams.
C: You really don廠?
L: I used to. I don't sleep enough. I work nights. I'm out at night, so I don't remember dreams that much. I have no imagination left. TV has destroyed my imagination.
C: Here let's catch you up...what's the coolest thing about being in a band?
L: Um...Our massive fan base. It's an ego boost.
S: An ego boost? I must have missed those five minutes.
S: Are all your interviews as good as this?
C: (Sad) Awwwwww.
S: I don't mean, like, your question...I mean the responses.
C: It varies. Do you believe in Aliens and UFOs?
S: Yes, definitely.
L: Yes.
M: Yes!
C: He (Mick) said it like he was forced to say it...like peer pressure.
S: Group policy. He's got to adhere to it or he's not in the group.
C: What's your favorite Sci-Fi movie?
S: