The No-Fi "Interview" with

For some reason a couple years back or so I found myself going to LOVE & ROCKETS farewell show at The Roxy and as my friends and I were being searched at the door for small weapons of mass destruction, we heard the oddest sound coming from inside the club. As it turned out, The Centimeters were playing and as we made our way through the sold out crowd I was already enjoying what I was hearing. I had been told that I would really like them and had even contacted singer Max Gomberg back around the 1st issues of No-Fi "Magazine" when he was in The Parkas for an interview. (Unfortunately, tragedy had struck The Parkas the night before I called and I felt so bad about calling about something so shallow compared to the situation that I never followed up on the interview.)

Anyway, I eventually introduced myself to them at a show to get them to play last year's Spook-a-thon at the L.A. Orpheum Theatre. Their newest album "The Lifetime Achievement Awards" came out last October and they will be following it up this August with a new E.P. called "Girls Have Hands" and will then be touring to support the album. We did this interview right after recording their live session on May 4th, 2002 for No-Fi "Radio" that we played in a few weeks ago and followed it up by e-mail with Max and Don to finish it.

all photos by chris beyond except max gomberg portrait by alice schlein and don bolles portrait by unknown.

CB=Chris Beyond (interviewer), MG=Max Gomberg (vocals),
NK=Nora Keyes (vocals/organ), RD=Ray Day (guitar),
 PH=Phillip Haut (keyboards), CD=Creekbird (keyboard/guitar)
and special guests:
DB=Don Bolles (formerly of THE GERMS and 45 GRAVE) & R=Ruby (The Lizard)

CB: Tell us the "backstory" of The Centimeters.
MG: We started in 1996. Me and Nora and Ray were in a band called The Parkas and that just kind of diminished. Me and Nora decided to mess around with some songs. Then we asked other people to join the band in 96 in the SIlverlake area and started playing the Hollywood underground...
NK: It was called the Underground Cafe and it was a dump.
MG: Yeah, and then we worked our way up from there to the amazing band that we are.
R: (who sounds a lot like Nora with a higher voice) These people are criminals!
CB: They're criminals? What did they do?
R: Well... Let me tell you. They paid this young Mexican boy to kidnap me from El Salvador and they bought me on the streets down here. They're sick. I was sick. I was ill and in little cold cage in my own feces. Now they keep me in a cage that does NOT look like the jungle next to dirty buses. They're criminals... They're awful. Terrible music!
DB: Oh God I hate it
R: (In the background) They don't keep my cage clean.
CB: What's the weirdest thing that has ever happened at a show?
DB: One time they played a show and nothing broke and Max and Nora didn't get into a fight and we all got paid.
R: Someone gave me a fish.
RD: I saw somebody get his head caught on fire. Some guy who was standing off to the side. He got his straw hat set on fire with hairspray that was being sprayed into his hair.
CB: Was it on purpose?
RD: Uh, semi-accidentally...I'm not sure.
MG: We were having fish throwing. Somebody threw a fish at us and we started attacking them with their own fish, but I don't think that's very weird.

CB: What would be a plot to a movie starring the Centimeters?
DB: Boy meets girl. Can't seem to lose her but happily everyone finds out it just doesn't matter and nothing happens anyway. Then they go to a video store and rent Meatballs and never return it.
MG: A team of construction workers plan to convert a Safeway into a concentration camp for people who have no ambition to be anything in particular. The Centimeters are captured but they convince a bald guard to let them play one last show. Every one loves them. Thai Food is served after the event. The camera switches to a sunset scene where Don Bolles is trying to sell the new Germs book in order to buy himself a malibu screw.
CD: Cyborg werewolves.
R: It'd be this porno movie about this poor lizard that was raped continuously in this village.
CB: What's your favorite place in L.A.?
DB: The Prayer Garden of The Church of the Holy Superet Light and Deathies room in the kitchen of the speed freak mystery house on Descanso.
MG: Nora would probably say trapped in one of the glass booths containing stuffed wildlife in the Natural Hisory museum.
RD: Burrito King... No, El Grande Burrito. On Vermont and Santa Monica.
PH: Nora's apartment.
CB: In what movie do you think Robert Downy Jr. Does his best work and why?
DB: I'd say Meatballs, because as far as I know he doesn't appear in it once.
MG: I prefer his real life on drugs. The film industry needs a good Christ figure.
NK: That's a dumb question for us to answer. It reflects poorly on the band.

CB: What is your worst high school memory?
RD: High school itself.
DB: I don't remember any of it. That's the worst part.
MG: All of it. People shouldn't be forced to be in the same room with other people at that age.
NK: (to Creekbird) You were the class president. Didn't you have anything happen?
CD: No.
R: (annoyed) I'm a lizard. I don't go to high school. I was kinapped.
CB: What is the deal with that show at The Roxy with Love & Rockets?
DB: People hated it so bad that David J had to explain why the Centimeters exist on his website to all the angry goths.
MG: It's a good thing we did play though. For some reason their backstage door locked-up on them and they couldn't get out of their room for their encore so we had to kick the door down and rescue them.
NK: I grabbed some guy's butt. He flicked me off while I was yodelling during "Desert Yodel." He was this gothic guy and he didn't like my yodels.
CB: Whatever happened to Rich Bitch (former Centimeters keyboard player)?
MG: I don't know. Where is Rich these days? He just works better by himself.
CB: Which religion is right?
MG: Hopefully none so we can all get some more sleep.
DB: It must be Scientology because that's the most expensive.

CB: Pop-Tarts or Oreos and why...
RD: I don't know. I'm torn. Doublestuff?
DB: I've never had Oreos with why before. Is that like curds and why?
CB: When can we expect any new releases by The Centimeters?
MG: "Girls Have Hands" will be available on our US tour in August.
CB: Any plans to re-release "German Verbs"?
MG: Next month we will make some ourselves for whoever is interested.
CB: What are some of your personal influences for what you do?
DB: (Don is pissing in the bathroom ) Here's one... And if that's one, guess what number two is?
MG: Prokoviev, Stravinsky, a Groucho Marx joke, Scott Walker, homeless people, short lives.
CB: What was your favorite childhood toy?
MG: A bicycle.
CB: Do you have any words of wisdom to close this interview with?
MG: Re-examine everything you think to be true. Especially if it's something Don has said.
DB: Don't end a sentence with a preposition, Mr. Interviewer!
NK: Can we redo the interview? Does anyone have Karen Centerfold's number?
CB: Errr...has anyone ever had a monkey? ...Anyone?

The Centimeters will be playing on July 6th at The Stone in Hollywood, July 26th at the Odeon in San Francisco, and July 27th at The Vista in Eureka. Nora also has a new solo album coming out in August. You should still be able to find their debut album "The Facts Of Destiny" on Win Records and "The Lifetime Achievement Awards" can be found on Space Baby Records in most major and independent record stores.

Check out the new Centimeters Website here!

The End!