NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
presents
DIRTY TRICKS
FOR EVERYDAY LIFE
Compiled by Ernie Mejia and Chris Beyond
* Set fire to all the neighborhood dogs late at night. The next morning tell everyone that you did it with your amazing mind powers.
* Run around naked in the streets yelling that there are bees chasing you.
(BONUS: poop while you run!)
* Replace your pubescent brother's vaseline with vicks vapor rub and listen for the comedy to ensue. Put a tape recorder under his bed to make the laffs last for years to cum!
* Put eyedrops in people's beer when they aren't looking. It makes them throw up.
(donated by BLADDER BLADDER BLADDER)
* (For The Guys) In a public pool or at the beach: if you're a horny pervert and a fast swimmer, you can swim underneath the gurls and pull down their swimming bottoms and dash away (Underwater! Wow!)
* (For The Gurls) If you ever catch the dork who tried to pull your swim suit off. Go up to him and pull your pants open a TINY crack and ask him if he can see your underwear easily (a lot of guys are dumb...he'll look). Just as he looks down knee him in the eyeball and watch it burst. (Cleans off easily!)
* Tell your teacher that you've seen him or her in a dirty magazine. (Be ambiguous.)
* Wear the same pair of undies for a month and see who notices. Give the first person a prize! Undies!
* Tell your brother or sister that he or she is cute...very very very cute. Laugh at their uncomfortableness.
* Take your dog for a walk, but tie the leash to it's tail. Man, that dog be confused.
* You wanna see a dirty trick...invite your friend for a drive. Drive around for a long time...when your friend asks you where you¼re going...tell him, "I"m looking for a black midget hooker with no teeth with a flat-top so I have somewhere to rest my cocktail while she gives me head." Drive around a little longer then drop him off at home and say you were just kidding.
* Oops! Pee during oral sex!
* Break up with somebody on ironic days.
(Like Valentine's Day or on anniversaries. Sucks to be you!)
* Shoot your best friend in the foot. If they're mad then treat them to Ice Cream!
* Take them to see any movie starring Jon Bon Jovi. Make sure that they aren't strappin' a piece.
* Every time you see a baby on the street, slap that smug look off it's face!
NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
