NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
presents
DIRT AND TRICKS
by David OneX
Screw Your Employer Tip #1
If you have a computer at your desk, set the screen color to black, and the font color to black. It will take weeks to figure out what's wrong!
Screw Your Employer Tip #2
If your office uses regular incandescent lightbulbs, turn off all the lights, unscrew the bulbs, then place a penny into each lamp socket. Replace bulb and leave. The next person who turns on the lights will short out the entire building!
Screw Your Employer Tip #3
Work in a restaurant? Donžt mind touching cockroaches? Bring a few to work, set the little critters loose in a dark closet and watch `em breed. Nothing ruins a trendy eaterie's business faster than a thriving roach population!
Screw Your Employer Tip #4
E-mail canžt be sent anonymously unless you send it from someone else's computer during their lunch hour. Hint, hint.
Screw Your Employer Tip #5
Donžt bother using your tube of super glue on doorlocks...itžs been done. Instead, unplug phone jacks and fill them up until glue gets in the copper contacts and kills the connection. No more annoying interruptions!
Screw Your Employer Tip #6
Ever seen an office microwave explode? Drop three fresh eggs inside, set time for 10 or more minutes and run far away; the resulting detonation can inflict horrible wounds.
Screw Your Employer Tip #7
Germ Warfare: Getting a cold sucks, but then again, so does work. Spread your joy to all your fellow slaves by wiping down door handles, keyboards and other surfaces with snot and the virus that causes colds can live happily for hours.
NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
