NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
presents
NACHO EXPERIENCE
by:
Ernie, Jason, Chris, Brandi, Quin (the non-eater)
(Time for some school nachos. We go to the cafeteria.)
B: What are we doing here?
E: We're gonna get Nachos. It's better than chemicals or orgasms; sex and the galaxy blended together.
(Brandi drinks Minute Maid; we discuss stealing sour cream.)
(We get the nachos...then walk all the way across campus to the underground level of the art department.)
Q: That's nasty. In English, nacho means stuff that comes from the butt.
B: Oooh! I got something spicy.
J: Good sour cream.
B: We need more.
E: It's different. Bastards.
(Diane walks in as our special suprise guest eater.)
Q: They're hallucinagenic...
B: The cafeteria reminded me of Circus Circus.
(Quin rants.)
E: The olives rock! (Ernie starts to feel the effects.) I saw colors. I want more. We should all live here.
(Quin tries to scare people.)
B: It makes my nose runny.
C: What do you think of the Nachos?
B: Um, I'm getting more on me than in my mouth.
J: Needs more solid chips. Lack of guacamole. Good service in preperation.
E: Let the chips kick in my bloodstream and I'll tell ya!
(It seems to make everybody quiet and tranquil.)
D: Was it crowded?
C: Quin is the kind of guy who would tell you you have bugs on you when you're on drugs.
B: These are really soggy.
E: They're better when they're soggy.
J: Definite lack of crispyness.
C: What are you seeing Ernie?
E: It's like you're on truth serum. Quin's a bad vibe.
(Quin laughs like a girl.)
B: My head feels tingly.
E: Not bad. I think Brandi is crying. Reflecting on sadness.
ALL: C'mon Quin, you'll like it.
(Ernie rushes to the bathroom, dances, rushes back.)
E: Wanna race?
(Everyone (except Ernie) notices that the hanging nacho bin looks like art.)
(Ernie trips out.)
(Jason sings.)
(Chris is beligerant.)
Q: I like your abilities to block out everything I say.
J: Did you hear a wind?
(Everyone laughs.)
(Diane has a contact Nacho high.)
D: I had a dream I was trying to get a tan. I didn't get to, but I tried to. I went to the beach.
E: Were you naked?
D: I went home to do it in my backyard.
(Everyone is silent.)
(The Nachos hit Jason. He can't talk.)
B: Can we take these home? (refering to the chairs.)
C: Ugh.
B: Why is it so cold here?
Q: I had a Nacho. It was gross.
B: What are you doing Quin? Waaa!
(Brandi lays down to sleep. Too much nachos.)
E: No more nachos for you.
(Quin has a contact nacho high.)
(Ernie lies under the couch.)
E: It's cold.
(Brandi grabs her crotch.)
(Ernie pulls his hair out.)
E: Nachos are coming out of my pores.
(Brandy gets horny. Quin only wishes.)
(Chris hears things.)
E: Let's play Nachoball.
(Brandi starts to see things.)
B: What was that???
D: My collar has time. (ocho)
(Chris and Brandi look perplexed.)
(Brandi laughs histerically.)
E: This isn't a nacho experience. There are too many people. It's like a Nacho orgy.
Q: But in saying that, it becomes a nacho experience.
EVERYONE: Yeah. Yah.
Chris Beyond
