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10 THINGS TO DO IN A CEMETERY AT NIGHT
by Ernie Mejia
1. Get the creeps while smoking cigarettes (if you are alone!). Idle minds wander and think up creepy thoughts.
2. When you are with friends, throw pennies far away and watch them get the creeps thinking the pennies are ghosties.
3. Get the creeps when your friend throws a penny far away and you think it's a spooky-spook.
4. Play "goosebump" with friends. Everytime somebody gets a goose bump, he or she drinks. If someone gets a hemorrhoid, everyone must take a drink.
5. Find couples who are buried together and see how far apart they died...then jack off on their grave. (X)
6. Be glad you are in a cemetery and not viewing a sweaty, salty Ellen Degeneres. (Unless you are into that)
7. Run around screaming "I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire!"
8. Play "army man" with friends. (True story! Don't make fun of me!)
9. Check your pockets to see if your wallet is still there. (To see if the petty theft ghosts are really that smooth!)
10. Hop the big spiky fence after the creeps get the best of you. Try not to skewer your crotch. (Huff puff! Huff puff!)
X-B. Put on a fuzzy black dress and cry about the dog you lost when you were five. (you too girls!)
(X) = thanks to Jim McCray
Chris Beyond
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