Who says the east coast/west coast war is dead? The band formerly known as THE IMPOSSIBLES then formerly known as STEPPING OUT now known as THE WEST COAST IMPOSSIBLES is out to win the bands with the same name contest. (for example R.E.M. and NIRVANA and all the bands that tried to sue them for having the same name) THE IMPOSSIBLES from the east coast have a record deal, but from the sounds of their new demo, so will THE WEST COAST IMPOSSIBLES. This interview took place at a Taco Bell in Torrance, CA. Such good food.
CB = Chris Beyond (Tired of typing)
JH = Jeff Hall (Vocals/Guitar)
J = Justin (Drums)
C = Casey (Bass)
Q = The Mighty Quin (Sitting in)
CB: What's the big superhero origin of THE WEST COAST IMPOSSIBLES?
J: We were bombarded by gamma rays when we went to the moon, when we came back we had no musical talent, so we said, "Hey! Why not be a band?"
C: We wanted to steal jock's girlfriends.
CB: So you're part of the whole nrrrd against jock movement. Do you like school?
J: Yeah.
C: Yeah, I just dropped out.
(Quin makes an unintelligible noise)
JH: Education is my first priority in life.
CB: What's your favorite fad from the eighties?
J: Breakdancing...and Adidas running suits.
JH: Favorite fad from the eighties? Um...(Long pause) What's a fad?
C: I Like men wearing make-up.
CB: Like Boy George or more towards the Michael Jackson look?
C: Boy George. I like Suzanna Hoffs's make-up.
CB: What do you think of the latest sex fetish...clowns?
JH: I think it's cool cuz it has a light and a dark side.
CB: You've had experience with this already? You seem to really know about the whole light and dark side thing.
JH: You asked what I thought of it...you know, like whether it廣 happy or scary...it's always a little bit scary. Cuz clowns are scary. Ask Jason Kamimura.
C: Yeah, ask Jason...he's cool.
J: I touched a monkey in a clown suit once...but it was from a distance.
CB: That's weird and creepy. If your life were a porno, what would it be called?
J: Three white boys who don't get any.
JH: Blank check.
C: Me, Myself And I.
CB: Ahhhh, that's sad.
JH: Casey has a girlfriend too, that's what's really sad.
CB: Not anymore! Ok, uh, um...why do you do it...the whole band thing?
J: Cuz we're on a compilation called "Bees In Your Mouth" coming out next month on Felony Records. Plug plug.
JH: I do it because it's creative and they want to do it.
CB: Again an answer with a light and a dark side.
C: I like the way the bright lights cast dark shadows on stage.
CB: Who are some of your favorite local bands?
JH, J & C: BOB, DEVIATES, WHAT TO DO, NO CONTROL, POPULAR GIRL...
CB: Tell me about some of your scariest nightmares.
JH: I had a black and white dream that my best friend died from falling down 12 flights of stairs, but the blood was red and so were her eyes.
J: I was skateboarding and I forgot to put on some shoes...this is a dream...and like I wanted to do all these tricks, but I couldn't cuz the grip tape would hurt my feet and I was tripping out. I was going like, "Where are my shoes?" Then I found a monkey and like...
JH: No!
J: No! If you ever...
JH: NO!
J: He always asks...
JH: Nope! That's it.
C: My favorite nightmare is Jeff's...with him raping a skinhead chick.
JH: I had a dream that I raped a skinhead chick.
CB: What kind of things really really bug you?
C: Overuse of sarcasm.
CB: You never read NO-FI, I take it.
JH: No, That doesn廠 count because NO-FI is creative. (Ok, I am all buttered up here.) I don't like people who find a comfortable lifestyle and lose all their integrity...and forget about everybody. Trekkies..Trekkies bug me.
(Casey eats some paper...he hasn't been the same since the war.)
C: Drivers. Other drivers bug me.
CB: Are you one of those bands that only wish to play with other ska bands or just any one you like?
J: Anyone cool.
JH: I'd play on any show, but I totally understand why bands do that.
CB: You only want to tour with THE SPICE GIRLS don廠 you?
J: Next fall we're touring Europe and Japan with THE SPICE GIRLS.
C: We'll play with anybody who lets us play.
JH: We play some ska songs...there are ska elements, but we incorporate other elements too.
C: I wouldn廠 call us ska...I wouldn廠 even call sublime ska.
JH: Our style isn't pure anything...so our shows don't have to be pure anything.
CB: What do you see in the future?
J: Flying cars.
JH: I see the eventual reversal of the advancement of technology and we will revert to a primitive society.
CB: What's your favorite recipe?
J: Take some bread, put some butter on it...put it on a pan with some cheese in the middle. Cook until brown. Mmmmm, now that廣 eatin'. I call it the Impossible Grilled Cheese Sandwich...cuz it's impossible to put down.
JH: Magic Sauce: Ketchup, Mayonnaise and relish...mix it in a big bowl til you puke in the bowl...that廣 the magic. You can serve it with anything. You can serve it on bagels.
C: What's the recipe for an apple?
CB: Get some dirt and a tree... Ok, uh, oh, what's your favorite movie and why?
C: My all time favorite is Opportunity Knocks.
JH: Jennifer Connelly!
CB: Aren't there better Jennifer Connelly films?
J: I think the band favorite is Clerks.
C: Mallrats is good.
JH: Clerks had the dialogue.
C: Kevin Smith is writing the new Superman movie.
JH: I like Trainspotting, Clerks, and Dead Poets Society. Can I tell my joke now?
CB: You can tell a joke.
JH: A really bad joke... Um, Guess what?
CB: What?
JH: REEL BIG FISH and GOLDFINGER put out a 7 inch!!! Isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard?
CB: That's creepy. I guess you don廠 like these bands.
J: I like REEL BIG FISH. I'll be on record of saying that.
CB: I actually like REEL BIG FISH, but I've only heard couple of their songs. I don't like GOLDFINGER.
JH: Just cut out my whole joke sequence.
CB: I like the joke! It's staying in. What Star Trek episode meant the most to you personally?
J: The one where the guy in the red shirt gets killed.
JH: The one where that little fuzzy thing came out of that dude's ear and all the ship got infected. There were these little fuzzy things...and they came out of a dude's ear.
C: No, I like the one where they save the whales!
(everyone agrees that that was the best.)
JH: That was like Star Trek meets pop culture. They were in San Francisco or something...
CB: Spock beats up a punk rocker.
JH: That's right!
CB: Who is the most overrated band right now?
JH: NO DOUBT, HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH and Alanis Morrissette. We should pit Alanis Morrissette versus Dave Matthews in the boxing ring.
CB: Have you ever held a mon..goose?
JH: Mongoose? No, but Rikki Tikki Tavi was my favorite cartoon character when I was young. Remember that? He like saved people and shit.
J: I had a friend who raced a mongoose. he had a mongoose bike and he raced that. Does that count?
JH: That's pretty close!
C: I rode a mongoose. A real mongoose.
CB: Was that in your adventure in Wonderland? Ok this one is kind of a thinking question...If Michael Jackson came up to you and said, "I'm running from Tito! Here is my glove! Don廠 tell them I molested my baby! I'm a creepy looking freak with a fake face and two false marriages! I've had sex with all my animals and family and I'm going to kill George Lucas and eat Elvis's corpse!" How would you calm him down in his time of need?
(Long silence. I take it they didn't hear my question, so I repeat it. More silence.)
JH: I would show him Mark Hamill's baby picture.
C: I'd kill the mother fucker! GEORGE LUCAS!
JH: That's George Lucas, man! I'd tell him to go buy "Bees In Your Mouth" from Felony Records.
J: It's really good.
CB: What's your favorite childhood memory?
JH: Voltron.
CB: Voltron?
JH: Yes, Voltron.
C: For me it was stealing and getting caught.
CB: That was your FAVORITE childhood memory?
JH: Casey is a fun loving criminal.
C: It taught me to never steal again.
J: Robotech!
JH: Now I can say Robotech. I've matured to the level of proper violence appreciation.
CB: If you were in prison and your pimp traded you,his bitch, to another inmate for 3 cigarettes, who is your greatest idol in life?
J: Casey's is Howard Stern.
CB: Who's your favorite porn star and why?
JH: I'd have to say Madison cuz she was interviewed in NO-FI (Issue #4). We don't watch pornos.
J: That one fat guy with the curly hair.
C: Ron Jeremy?
J: Yeah!
Q: He can suck his own penis.
(laughter)
C: Quin is always saying that. We had dinner with his parents and he just shouts out, "You know, Ron Jeremy can suck his own penis." and they say. "We know Quin! We know! You say that every night!"
JH: My favorite porno star is Norm McDonald.
C: 