with
Conducted September, 2004 by Chris Beyond, Photography by Jenny Lang
I've been a fan of Creekbird since I first saw him play as a member of L.A.'s THE CENTIMETERS. After getting to know them, recording a live session with them for No-Fi "Radio" and even interviewing them for this very magazine, I learned that Creekbird has his own solo side project which is very different from the dark cabaret style of his band.
It's hard to describe the style of Creekbird's solo music. Perhaps somewhere between ragtime and new wave (even slipping into J-pop)? The polar opposite of Nick Cave's moodiness in that he sings songs about carnival acts, monsters, and love with music that seems like something you could share with your grandma.
So keeping in with the theme of this issue, I decided to pull almost all of these questions from various Teen Beat interviews. One thing I've realized in researching those questions is that any thought I previously had about how dumb those magazines could be is totally true. Seriously, these questions were the same from issues I read from the 60s to the most current issues now. The personality of the interviewer never comes out and frankly neither does that of the person being interviewed. Luckily Creekbird was on the same page with me on this and he actually answered these "hard hitting" questions in a way where we actually learn something about him...and that's what we're all about anyway.
NO-FI:
Ok, mister. I hate to subject you to this, but 98% of these questions are all taken from various Teen Beat Magazine interviews so I hope you can forgive me. Are you ready?
Creekbird:
READY FREDDIE.
NO-FI:
When did you first learn how to play an intrument?
Creekbird:
I STARTED PIANO LESSONS AT THE AGE OF 5, STARTED FRENCH HORN IN 5TH GRADE AND GUITAR IN 9TH.
NO-FI:
How do you manage to play the guitar and sing at the same time?
Creekbird:
BY COMPROMISING BOTH... JUST A LITTLE.
NO-FI:
Do you listen to your own music?
Creekbird:
I'M LISTENING TO IT RIGHT NOW.
NO-FI:
What type of music are you into?
Creekbird:
I LIKE A CATCHY TUNE WITH A BIT OF GOOD OL' FASHION RAZZAMATAZZ. ALL THE BANDS ON GORILLA SUIT RECORDS ARE JUST SUPER-DOO-PER.
NO-FI:
Did the punk explosion during the late '70s have any influence on you and your music?
Creekbird:
I'M REALLY GLAD YOU ASKED ME THAT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALOT LATELY AND, YES, IT DID.
NO-FI:
Do you like to see new groups on the music charts?
Creekbird:
I WOULD IF I LOOKED AT THEM. WHY NOT?
NO-FI:
How do you feel before going out on stage?
Creekbird:
LIKE TWO SMURFS; QUEASY & FORGETFUL.
NO-FI:
What's your favorite meal?
Creekbird:
OH, THAT'S AN EASY ONE, CHRIS. IT'S CHICKEN PARMAGIANNA.
NO-FI:
How do you feel when people ask for your autograph?
Creekbird:
LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.
NO-FI:
Are you dating anyone right now?
Creekbird:
WHY, JUST ABOUT THE DARN TOOTINEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
NO-FI:
What draws you to a girl?
Creekbird:
TALENT, A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR, AND A NICE PAIR OF CUPCAKES.
NO-FI:
Where do you like to go on dates?
Creekbird:
PIONEER CHICKEN.
NO-FI:
If you didn't have a girlfriend, would you date fans?
Creekbird:
MAYBE IF THEY WERE SUPER RICH OR SOMETHING.
NO-FI:
Do you use a condom, french ticklers, or "the enabler" during make-out sessions?
Creekbird:
(NERVOUS GIGGLE) EWW!
NO-FI:
What advice would you give to a teenage girl?
Creekbird:
THAT BOY YOU'RE PINING FOR IS A JERK. YOU SHOULD GO FOR A NICE BOBBY EWING TYPE OF GUY, LIKE PAMELA DID.
NO-FI:
Are you a well-organized person when it comes to getting things done, such as writing music and lyrics?
Creekbird:
OH NO. DEFINITELY NOT. I LET MY CREATIVITY SPILL OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE. IT'S A BLOODY MESS.
NO-FI:
What's the title of your next album?
Creekbird:
"TRAGIC TREASURES"
NO-FI:
How many songs will be on it?
Creekbird:
13 SPARKLING GEMS.
NO-FI:
What kind of things inspire you to write songs?
Creekbird:
WORDS, PHRASES. STORIES. CALAMITY. BOREDOM. ALL THAT SHIT.
NO-FI:
What are some of your hobbies?
Creekbird:
I'M CURRENTLY WRITING A BIG HOLLYWOOD TYPE SCREENPLAY THAT'LL MAKE ME A MILLIONAIRE. IT'S GONNA KNOCK THE SOCKS OFF THE INDUSTRY. I'M NEGOTIATING SOME DEALS NOW BUT HOLDING OUT FOR THE REALLY BIG BUCKS. I'VE BEEN WRITING A NOVEL CALLED 'DERT' SINCE 1994. OH, AND I'M MAKING A VIDEO.
NO-FI:
Who are your favorite local singers or entertainers?
Creekbird:
I SAW THIS GREAT ACT A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. THIS GUY CALLED BERT SHIRT. IT WAS MARVELOUS, I TELL YA! I'M TRYING TO GET HIM BOOKED AT CLUB SCREWBALL. I THINK IT WOULD GO OVER VERY WELL. HMM, WHO ELSE? OH YEAH, LAFFYPANTS THE CLOWN IS A GREAT ENTERTAINER. TOP NOTCH.
NO-FI:
How did you meet the other members of The Centimeters and when did you start playing with them?
Creekbird:
I'M TELLING YOU, THOSE WERE CRAZY TIMES. YOU KNOW... IT WAS THE YEAR 2000.
NO-FI:
Can we expect The Centimeters to finally start playing shows on a regular basis again?
Creekbird:
I'M PROBABLY THE WRONG PERSON TO ASK.
NO-FI:
Is it difficult for you to compete with bands like The Used and Greenday?
Creekbird:
OH YES, IT'S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. YOU SEE, THEY HAVE COMPANIES WHO PAY THEM TO RECORD ALBUMS THAT THEY SELL IN RECORD STORES FOR ACTUAL MONEY! THEY ARE VERY LUCKY. I MAKE MY RECORDS MYSELF IN MY BEDROOM WITH MY OWN MONEY AND CAN BARELY SELL THEM. IT'S SAD. REALLY, IT IS.
NO-FI:
What is the philosophy of the Spice Girls?
Creekbird:
THERE'S ONLY FIVE FISH IN THE SEA.
NO-FI:
If you could change one thing about Greg from The Centimeters, what would it be?
Creekbird:
HIS SOCKS. BA DUM BUMP!
NO-FI:
Describe your perfect super fantastic sunshine day.
Creekbird:
I'M FLOATING IN AN INNER TUBE AT THE CENTER OF A HEART-SHAPED SWIMMING POOL FILLED WITH SCOTCH AND COKE. ALONG THE EDGE OF THE POOL IS A SYMPHONY OF KITTENS IN TUXEDOS PLAYING THE THEME FROM THE PATTY DUKE SHOW. AND EVERY SO OFTEN, A PELICAN FLIES OVERHEAD AND DROPS A PIECE OF PIZZA INTO MY MOUTH.
NO-FI:
If you had to choose 17 words to describe you and your life, what would those words be?
Creekbird:
LOVELY, SKEDADDLE, DILLYDALLY, PEPPERONI, GOBBLEDYGOOK, GEWGAW, GIMCRACK, PAIN, VERVE, VIGOR, VIM, VITALITY, VIVACITY, VROOM, ZEAL, ZEST, ZIP
NO-FI:
What is your position on school integration?
Creekbird:
I THINK BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD GO TO SEPARATE SCHOOLS.
NO-FI:
For how long have you been boogie boarding?
Creekbird:
SINCE IT ALL GOT STARTED.
NO-FI:
Who's neater, you or Nick from The Backstreet Boys?
Creekbird:
I AM, BUT HE'LL NEVER KNOW IT.
NO-FI:
Are you shy?
Creekbird:
YES. PEOPLE ARE SCARY SOMETIMES. ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE PRETTY.
NO-FI:
What famous person would you most like to meet?
Creekbird:
MELISSA JOAN HART.
NO-FI:
Why?
Creekbird:
SHE CRACKS ME UP.
NO-FI:
Is there anything you would never leave home without?
Creekbird:
MY WINNING SMILE.
NO-FI:
What's your favorite game?
Creekbird:
TRICK OR TREAT?
NO-FI:
Do you get angry when you lose?
Creekbird:
YES. I HATE IT SO MUCH I WANT TO KILL MYSELF.
NO-FI:
Have you ever held a monkey?
Creekbird:
NO. BUT I ONCE SMOKED CATNIP WITH A WHITE FACED CAPPUCCI.
NO-FI:
If you weren't a musician, what would you do?
Creekbird:
ACCORDING TO A TEST I TOOK IN 7TH GRADE, I WOULD EITHER ILLUSTRATE CHILDREN'S BOOKS OR BE A HOTEL MANAGER.
NO-FI:
What are your plans for the very near future?
Creekbird:
I HAVE TO SMOG TEST A CAR AND FIX MY RIGHT EAR. SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT.
NO-FI:
What are your plans for the far off, impossible to predict, future?
Creekbird:
SOMETHING INVOLVING AUSTRALIA MAYBE. YES, I SHALL PURCHASE AUSTRALIA.
NO-FI:
How can people get ahold of your albums?
Creekbird:
WELL, UNTIL THOSE RECORD INDUSTRY BOZOS START DOING THEIR JOB PROPER, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO EMAIL ME AT creekbird5@hotmail.com OR LOOK ME UP ON FRIENDSTER OR (COMING SOON) ON MYSPACE. OR LOOK UP GORILLA SUIT RECORDS. THEY GOT THE GOODS.
NO-FI:
What are your closing words of wisdom for our No-Fi "Magazine" readers?
Creekbird:
BE A NICE PERSON AND STAY IN SCHOOL. THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT. I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU. BUT NOT IN THAT WAY. GOOD NIGHT, LUNCHMEAT MUMFORD, WHEREVER YOU ARE!
Creekbird's new album should be out before the end of the year (2004). Special thanks to him and to Jenny Lang who took all the photos in this interview.
THE END...OR IS IT?
